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Log with Ianto: The Proof is in the Pudding
Sulu knew that this was one of those Terrible, Horrible, Rotten, No Good ideas that he was occasionally prone to having. He was grounded, after all; inviting Ianto over to prove that he wasn't just making up the things he'd been talking about was kind of pointless if you couldn't get to the car to prove any of it.
Still, he'd heard his parents leave to visit his aunt in Bakersfield, so... why not? It wasn't like they'd notice - he was really good at hiding his tracks. So, he'd invited Ianto out to prove that his universe really was all he'd said it was. It was the least he could do to prove he was seriously as awesome as he made himself out to be, after all. So, he waited in his room for the inevitable worldhopping Ianto Jones, wondering if that was too specific a place but figuring that worldhopping itself was already pretty specific an art.
Still, he'd heard his parents leave to visit his aunt in Bakersfield, so... why not? It wasn't like they'd notice - he was really good at hiding his tracks. So, he'd invited Ianto out to prove that his universe really was all he'd said it was. It was the least he could do to prove he was seriously as awesome as he made himself out to be, after all. So, he waited in his room for the inevitable worldhopping Ianto Jones, wondering if that was too specific a place but figuring that worldhopping itself was already pretty specific an art.
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Ianto took several large swallows of the drink, coughing despite the fact that the offending food had been swallowed already. "Oh my god," he said, tears coming to his eyes, his voice momentarily hoarse, still choking a little bit on the remaining flavor. "What the bloody hell was that?" he groaned.
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"Jeeze. That's some kind of habanero sauce, or something. I didn't realize there was any really spicy Andorian food..." He tried to think of something that would have that kind of kick to it, but everything he thought of was very... well, American. Or Hispanic, but he didn't think Mexican food and Andorian vegetables really worked together.
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"The vegetables themselves aren't bad, though," he said, with a shrug. "Kind of reminds me of...I dunno. Tempura I guess..." He eyed the sauces warily. "D'you actually know what any of those are?" he asked. He could guess the spiciness of the sauce that he'd tried was unexpected even to Sulu, given his reaction there, but. Did he even know what any of the stuff that was in front of them tasted like?
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"Yep, it's just plain old honey mustard. The other ones..." He tried the other dips and managed to pin them down to at least their closest Earth relatives, "This one's kind of like ranch; this is a sort of tangy barbecue sauce, I think it might actually be Andorian; and that one's... I think it's like the broth for Andorian cabbage soup, but I've only had that once, so..." He grinned. "The BBQ stuff and the habanero stuff are the only really spicy things, but you should be okay with the BBQ. Don't worry, we're safe from here on out."
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"'s a bit weird, yeah?" he asked, after a moment. "To be eating alien vegetables. I mean...can they grow here, then? Or are they imported? And why would you ever import vegetables that far, if they are?"
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He realized that Ianto probably didn't know what a replicator was, so he went on to explain, "A replicator is basically a machine that can create any kind of food you might want. Most people don't think it's too much different from real food, but I kind of prefer the home-grown stuff."
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"So...what. I just...makes food? Out of nowhere?" Ianto asked, a bit skeptical really. "I mean. How can you just make food from a card of information? I know that there has to be some sort of science involved, but. I mean, it sounds a bit mad, yeah?"
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He felt a little silly for not knowing how this kind of thing worked, all of a sudden; Ianto probably wanted to know all the finer points of replicating food, but Sulu just didn't know off the top of his head. He munched down another vegetable to hide the fact that he was a little embarrassed for not knowing.
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Of course, now Ianto was contemplating food preparation, which the last time he checked, was not a cool kid thing to do. So he took another vegetable as well. "Think I'm going to leave off of the sauces, now, though," he said. He didn't want another repeat of the last time simply because he forgot which one the spicy one was again.
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"...Uh, kind of, yeah."
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"I guess...that I should be happy about that, huh," Ianto said. "That the future looks brighter than it does in the here and now for me." He just wasn't sure if he was or not. It wasn't like, other than visiting here, he'd ever get to see it. Get to see any of it, other than his sad little run-down neighborhood and the sad little petty people who lived in it.
...he needed to change the subject. Before he started to get into an even worse mood than he was.
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Thankfully, just then, the waitress arrived with their burgers. Sulu thanked whatever powers there were that the food was there to distract them, and grinned as she set the burgers down.
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"...this is enormous," Ianto said, almost warily.
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"I guess it's okay. Dunno, I like my fries kind of crispy."
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Taking his knife, Ianto spread the ketchup and mustard evenly over the top of his hamburger bun, mixing the two together before putting the bun back on the top, picking up the hamburger, and taking a bite. "Mmmm," he said, pausing to chew and swallow before he spoke. "God. This is amazing." Clearly, Ianto had never had a really good hamburger before now.
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