He winced at the thud - it might as well have been a slam, he might as well have thrown something as far as Sulu was concerned - and looked away. So much for facing the problem head on. If he were any less of a man he'd probably start crying.
He let the silence stretch, trying to remember why he had done it at all, but it was all a blank. "I - I don't know," he said finally, "I didn't mean to, I just - look, I haven't really, I don't really have friends, I usually try to keep things professional because that's easier, or whatever, and I didn't think about anyone else being offended or hurt about me just pretending I was someone else for a few days."
He grabbed a fistful of his hair and tugged on it, trying to think because there was... some kind of special code to this. There always was, after all. "I woke up and I was like this, and I panicked and called Dr. McCoy, I asked him not to tell you for some stupid reason that I honestly don't even remember, and then I just figured if I could wait it out, I would be able to... you know, pretend it never happened. I don't know!" He pinched the bridge of his nose.
"I just acted like a complete idiot because I wasn't thinking about anyone else. I don't know what you want me to say, Jim. There's only so many times I can say 'I screwed up' before it gets old and it's gotten to that point now. I tried resigning but you didn't want that and I tried being nice to Sylar and that wasn't worth it, I tried defending you from him and that didn't help, I only know so much protocol here!"
no subject
He let the silence stretch, trying to remember why he had done it at all, but it was all a blank. "I - I don't know," he said finally, "I didn't mean to, I just - look, I haven't really, I don't really have friends, I usually try to keep things professional because that's easier, or whatever, and I didn't think about anyone else being offended or hurt about me just pretending I was someone else for a few days."
He grabbed a fistful of his hair and tugged on it, trying to think because there was... some kind of special code to this. There always was, after all. "I woke up and I was like this, and I panicked and called Dr. McCoy, I asked him not to tell you for some stupid reason that I honestly don't even remember, and then I just figured if I could wait it out, I would be able to... you know, pretend it never happened. I don't know!" He pinched the bridge of his nose.
"I just acted like a complete idiot because I wasn't thinking about anyone else. I don't know what you want me to say, Jim. There's only so many times I can say 'I screwed up' before it gets old and it's gotten to that point now. I tried resigning but you didn't want that and I tried being nice to Sylar and that wasn't worth it, I tried defending you from him and that didn't help, I only know so much protocol here!"