parked | Log with Ianto & Jack: Man! I Feel Like a Woman!

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Log with Ianto & Jack: Man! I Feel Like a Woman!

There were three things Sulu always expected when he woke up: some kind of alarm, his regulation sized bed and his regulation sheets. In his line of work, those were the only safe assumptions; for all anyone knew, they could be waking up to their timer alarms or the red alert alarms, or they could wake up on the floor after an attack - but they would always wake up near it.

Being that he was not really a morning person, it took Sulu a groggy minute of groaning and half-hearted stretching to realize that his three safety blankets? They weren't there. Instead, his bed felt - bigger, really, and... manlier. Really manly. Which felt weirder than the softer sheets, the metal bracelet around his wrist and the fact that he had hair in his eyes.

...Hair in his eyes.

Oh, Jesus. He knew what that meant -

Sulu snapped to attention and sat up, only to realize that he was now straddling someone, he was a girl, and he was in his boxers. And that was it. Part of him realized he was on top of Ianto, but the rest of him then followed suit and noticed that his free hand was on Jack's chest, and this was way out of his comfort zone.

Being that he was terrible at this whole "suddenly a girl thing," Sulu could only do one thing in that moment: he shrieked and tried to fling himself off the bed, despite the fact that he was handcuffed to Ianto. "SHIT!"

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Sulu smiled tightly at Ianto, nodding once. "It'll be fine. You don't owe me anything. Honestly, if the community had to give me a virus, I'm just glad it was with you and not with someone else. I'll drag your unconscious ass as far as I need to," he added with a slightly uneasy laugh, "So don't worry about it."

He calculated in his head the sort of upper body strength he might have like this, reminding himself that Uhura was, while taller and more used to being a woman than him, around his size, and she could haul a stunned ensign two kilometers in a skirt and go-go boots if she needed to. He knew how to place the weight of an unconscious body, knew where to put his hands - well, at least theoretically he did, but right now one hand was sort of useless - and even if he couldn't get him entirely too far, Sulu was certain he could get Ianto at least to the point where he could safely call for Jack. Who was an idiot and should have already been looking for them by this point. Sulu was really tempted to give that man a piece of his goddamned mind, despite the fact that his absence had been a pretty good thing until now.

Ianto didn't know how to interpret Sulu's statement. 'Not with someone else'. Did that mean 'not with anyone else', or... Was he thinking too far into this. He swallowed, starting to feel really, really very lightheaded. He couldn't be sure of it, but he was pretty sure that he was slowing down as well, not really having a very good control of where he put his feet anymore, his hand on the wall possibly being his only grounding in this situation.

"I... I'll try not to worry about it," he continued, because he was trying to reassure Sulu here, trying not to freak him out too much, not that he really thought that passing out would freak the other, but who knew. "That's what I do, though. I worry. I'm a worrier. It's in the job description. Or, well. It should be. Under picking up empty takeout containers, and...knowing how to dodge an angry pterodactyl..." Ianto trailed off, and just like that, his vision was all but gone. He was pretty sure that he could still hear Sulu, but he was losing his grip on basically everything else, including motor function and well, the wall. Shit, Ianto thought. Despite whatever Sulu said, he really was going to have to try and make up for this later.

Sulu slowed his own pace with Ianto's stumbling steps, holding on to him and trying to keep him upright. Ianto's rambling about his job had slightly the opposite effect on Sulu than Ianto probably thought it would have, making him worry and check their position in the hallway. He really didn't want either of them slamming into a wall or into the floor, and Ianto was clearly losing it.

"Don't forget being generally amazing," he added as Ianto trailed off, knowing full well that the other probably wouldn't catch it. Luckily, Sulu was able to grab Ianto under the arm when he lost his grip on the wall, which had clearly been Sulu's friend when it came to keeping the man upright. Man, he thought wryly, a little blindsided by the whole situation all at once, He's really heavy.

Ianto was vaguely aware of the fact that he hadn't slammed face-first into the floor like he was sure that he was going to do when he lost his hold on the wall (because really, that's how he usually ended up landing, on his head or on his face or somewhere in the vicinity of all of that area). He wanted to laugh at the 'amazing' comment, because he was pretty sure that he was far from amazing at that moment. He was far from a lot of things. Like consciousness. And Jack, who was going to make it better with just a touch of his hand, which really wasn't fair, Ianto thought.

"Sulu..." Ianto started. He wanted to tell Sulu that he shouldn't worry, that it'd be okay really, if Sulu could just get him down the Hub or really just if he got to the comm panel that was just down the hall, so he could call Jack and so Jack could come to rescue them. He didn't quite get there, though, only really managing to get out the beginning of Jack's name before passing out on Sulu completely, leaving whatever small portion of his body weight that he'd still been holding up himself now as a dead weight in Sulu's arms.

Sulu staggered with the sudden addition of weight, knees locking as he shifted to hold the other up. Okay, so. Maybe he couldn't do this. Not for long, at least - it would take far too much time to get Ianto all the way to the Hub himself, and he honestly wasn't sure how much time you had with these kinds of viruses.

He wondered suddenly if viruses could actually kill you. He'd never heard of it happening, not once, and it seemed silly to think that the community would kill the people it loved to mess with most. But still... Ianto's constant worrying about the potential of death in his line of work did nothing to ease Sulu's growing worry.

It was hard to take even a step with Ianto slumped against him like he was, so Sulu paused after one tiny move forward to readjust Ianto and try to balance him better. "Okay," he said to himself; it was hard not to talk, when it had been so helpful just moments before. He braced himself and started forward, managing to hold Ianto up fairly well for the distance between them and the end of the hall. He imagined he could have dragged Ianto, as he felt his shoulder strain under the other's weight, but that seemed like a terrible idea and he refused to humor it.

Reaching the end of the hall, he took note of the intercom panel on the wall. He'd memorized Ianto's code, so that wouldn't be a problem, thankfully. He took a moment to set Ianto down, only needing one hand and not wanting to strain his shoulder too badly. Besides, it would probably be better for Ianto to be sitting for this. Patching himself through to the Hub itself, Sulu was quick to pretty much rattle out the situation to anyone who might be listening on the other end.

Jack, though he had started to feel the strain of the virus on his body, was doing a lot better of a job at managing it, possibly because of the whole fixed point in space and time thing. He should have started to wonder what sort of a state Ianto might be in, if he was starting to feel a little queasy around the edges, but the fact of the matter was that he was too preoccupied in trying to change out of a uniform that just wouldn't come off, no matter how hard he tried. It wasn't that it didn't fit right--it was actually a pretty decent match for him, and while not loose, was definitely comfortable and not the sort of snug that he would think would have him stuck in clothes like this. It was getting ridiculous, and it was actually starting to piss him off, when Sulu's voice patched into the main comm systems.

Jack didn't really listen to what Sulu had to say as he set off at a brisk pace (not really feeling up to a jog anymore) down across the Hub and towards the tunnels where he knew Ianto and Sulu were stuck somewhere along the route of. Surely enough, probably not even two minutes since Sulu had put in the initial call for help, Jack spotted them down along the corridor. Hurrying to Ianto's side, Jack immediately crouched down beside Ianto, laying a hand on his neck and feeling for a pulse, which was definitely slow even for someone that was unconscious, but still there.

"What, you two didn't think to hurry it up to get down here?" Jack asked, maybe harsher than he should have but he was a bit worried that maybe, just maybe Ianto's pulse might have been worse before he'd touched the man and reactivated their virus-induced energy boost. "What happened anyway?" Yeah, he. Well, he really hadn't paid too much attention to the intercom past the fact that they were in trouble.

Sulu was crouching by Ianto's side by the time Jack showed up, he himself having been keeping an eye on his vitals as best he could with his training. When Jack came over to them, he didn't bother to move aside; Jack could have his own side of Ianto, after all.

He gave Jack a flat look, "It's not like I knew how bad off he was without him saying anything, and he sure as hell didn't clue me in. And what do you think happened? He got sick and passed out." Okay, maybe Sulu shouldn't have used that tone - he really shouldn't have, actually, because that always just got him in trouble with Jack, but. Jack was not his commanding officer (no matter what uniform he was wearing), and Sulu was rightly worried for Ianto's safety. A little harshness should have been expected from him. "I couldn't exactly drag him all the way back."

Jack crouched there, his hand just resting on Ianto's neck, and automatically felt better. So maybe his tone had been a little effected by the way that he had felt before, too. Jack looked, really looked at Sulu, in this girl form that he was in right now, thought about what it must have been like for him to be stranded alone with Ianto passed out on him, and let's face it, Jack knew that Ianto was a fully grown man and actually pretty heavy for himself to handle, let alone Sulu in this girl form of his. He tried to think back and remember what tone of voice Sulu had had when he was calling over the intercom, and alright yes, it had sounded stressed too. So Jack made himself take a breath, and calm down.

"Right. I... I'm sorry. I know how he can get with these things." He looked down to Ianto. He, well, he looked alright. He didn't seem to be waking up, though. "Okay, so. He might need some time to, y'know...charge and come to, or whatever. And unless you want to hang out in this tunnel anymore, I vote that we get him back to the main section of the Hub, so..." He looked across at Sulu, sizing him up, this time looking to see how much weight he really thought that Sulu could carry. In the end he decided...that it wouldn't be much. He was going to have to make this a fireman's carry.

"Okay. Help me get him up? I'll take of the carrying, but that's the easy part. It's the actual picking him up that's going to take some effort, especially with the two of you still tied together at the wrist, and all."

Jack's apology nearly fell on deaf ears, until Sulu took a moment to remember what was going on here, exactly. He'd just asked out Ianto, who was now passed out, who needed his boss-slash-lover to touch him in order to help him. He was sort of on the outskirts of the entire problem; the most that he'd had to worry about, other than Ianto's well-being, was dragging the man to the end of the hall.

So, instead of remaining pissy, like he almost wanted to do, he just nodded. "Don't apologize, it's fine. And - let's just get him out of these stupid tunnels. You really need to invest in some kind of trolley system, you know that?"

As much as Sulu hated to think that he wasn't really much help here, what with his frame not being built for hauling fully grown Welshmen long distances, he couldn't blame Jack for wanting to do most of the work. His shoulder was still aching, anyway - he really wouldn't be much help. The least he could do was help Jack heave the other upright. "Sure, yeah. Let's get him up."

Okay, well. There really was no smooth way to be doing this. They were just going to have to manhandle Ianto's unconscious body into a standing position so that Jack could do this right. He'd had a lot of practice with this carry, over the years. He'd learned it in the war--the first war he'd ever got caught up in, thousands of years in the future. And he'd used the very same technique with soldiers in WWI, when he'd fought in that, and then WWII as well. Torchwood had sent him in to fight for his country, a man that couldn't die being excellent to have on the front lines of battle, and it had gotten to be so that Jack could do this carry in his sleep, if he wanted. And really, he could do it by himself, but. Why try, when there was help?

It was going to be a problem to haul him up from the way Sulu had propped him against the wall, so Jack dragged him away from it to get enough room, laying Ianto out on the floor before turning him over onto his front. From there, he directed Sulu in what ways he could help aid the process along, still keeping most of Ianto's weight himself (because he wasn't sure he trusted Sulu in this form to be able to handle it, especially when not being able to meant dropping Ianto to the ground). After a lot more manhandling and groping of Ianto, Jack finally had the other man securely across his shoulders, positioned so that Sulu could walk comfortably beside them without pulling on his wrist.

"We, uh," Jack said, as he started down the tunnels towards the Hub, because he couldn't stand there forever, Ianto was a full grown man and though he weighed less than Jack, that still didn't mean he was light enough to carry around all day, "we're not going to tell him about this part, alright? He'll be embarrassed enough as it is, without stressing the point that we had to roll him around on the floor a little while he was unconscious. He might not take too well to that."

Sulu could tell from how Jack was laying Ianto out how he was going about picking Ianto up, so he did everything he could to help out as best as possible, what with being handcuffed to the man in question. It wasn't pretty and it would probably humiliate Ianto to know that he had to be carried like this at all, but it was the safest way of doing so and so Sulu figured that if he ever found out, he would forgive them. (Jack for doing it, and Sulu for letting it happen.)

"Yeah," Sulu said, keeping pace with Jack in a way that wouldn't hurt his wrist any, "Goes without saying. Though, you do realize - he's probably going to instinctively know that something happened when he wakes up." Sulu's tone was light, because he well knew that Ianto would probably not even bring it up. "I wish he would have said something sooner, though," he added.

Edited 2010-08-27 03:36 (UTC)

"Yeah, well," Jack said, and he would shrug if he could at that moment, "he's going to know that something's up when he wakes up wherever we end up taking him, or well, whenever he wakes up and realizes that he's not stuck in the tunnel with you like he remembers being before."

Jack thought for a moment about Sulu's comment, about Ianto mentioning something sooner than he had, before sighing. "Look, I... I can't really say what goes through his mind sometimes, but. Knowing Ianto, he probably figured he could handle it on his own. He gets like that, sometimes. Like he can't remember that there are other people around that are perfectly willing to help, if he'd just say the word. Or, y'know. Even allude to something being the matter, really. It's really easy to miss things with him, too. He's good at hiding."

"Hopefully he won't assume that we did it in the most humiliating way possible for him." Sulu had a feeling that being thrown over Jack's shoulders was probably up there for Ianto, at least. "And..." He knew that Ianto did that. It was pretty obvious even from the start, when he'd only asked for help under the guise of anonymity, and how he always seemed ready to stop himself from saying anything too... well, "weak" sounding, he supposed. None of it ever did, though.

"Yeah. I know that. I'm pretty sure he probably knows it too. It..." He frowned, "I guess it just means he needs constant reminding." If only he had been conscious to see Jack come running to help, or to hear his worried tone. It might've helped with that reminding thing.

Jack shrugged as much as he could with Ianto on his shoulders. "I'm not sure that this is the most humiliating way possible, really. I mean, we don't have him slung between us. We aren't dragging him behind us on the ground. I mean, yeah," He said, turning his head to look at Ianto's head lolling on his shoulder, then at Sulu, "it's not exactly smooth, and he wouldn't really want to mention this ever again, probably, but it could be a lot worse."

He paused, thinking about what Sulu said about reminding Ianto. "Yeah..." he said, after a moment. "I guess he does." Jack couldn't really think of a time that Ianto'd come out of the blue to him, asking for help. He'd always had to coax it out of Ianto, for the most part, and that was only when he noticed something was up (and Jack wasn't good at subtleties, that something had to be pretty obvious for him to notice it). "What do you think, Lieutenant," he asked, "are you up to the challenge, then?"

Sulu had to agree that maybe it wasn't the most unfortunate way to haul someone, but it was still pretty awkward. (He should know; he was the only one in training who everyone could pick up, after all.) Still, Sulu wasn't going to tell Ianto about it, or tease him or anything. It wasn't his fault that the community had made it impossible for him to be away from Jack for very long.

He actually gave Jack's question a little thought, because for however lightly it was proposed, it was still a serious kind of thing to ask. It didn't take more than a moment, though; Sulu would do whatever it took to make Ianto realize that he was there for him - that everyone, him and Jack and Gwen, were there for him. "I think I can handle it," Sulu said with a smile. "I've got patience to spare, after all."

Jack looked sideways at Sulu. watching him think about it, and then was appreciative that although the other considered the question seriously, he didn't answer it seriously as well. Jack, despite all of the years he'd lived, still didn't really handle serious conversation topics all that well. he much preferred to be outwardly flippant about everything. "Let's hope you do," he said, with a grin. He nodded to Ianto. "This one's going to definitely try it, sometimes. He's stubborn as hell."

Finally, they reached the end of the tunnels. The going had been slow, because of the fact that the pace was whatever Jack could make while carrying Ianto. Still, they managed. Jack moved to bring Ianto up to where the computer stations were, or more specifically, where the sofa was. "Alright, you're gonna have to help me get him down now, too, unless you want me dropping him and possibly breaking either of your arms, here. After that, we should get his feet up." He grinned. "Afraid I'm fresh out of smelling salts, otherwise I'd suggest that we give that a try, too."

"Like he's the only stubborn person in my life," Sulu groused goodnaturedly, throwing Jack a smile. After all, his captain, CMO - hell, let's face it, everyone on alpha shift on the Enterprise was stubborn as hell. It was something he dealt with on a daily basis; and at least Ianto's stubbornness didn't include the natural gift of being completely bullheaded for all the wrong reasons.

When they reached the couch, Sulu just nodded along with what Jack was saying, prepared to help Jack however he needed. Still, he had to raise an eyebrow. "Does that stuff even actually work?" He had to ask - after all, smelling salts were very... Victorian.

Jack chuckled. "It does tend to be a trait that runs in the military, doesn't it?" he asked, grinning, very fully aware that he might just be another one of the stubborn people in his life that Sulu was talking about. Especially with their rocky start, and their tendency towards arguing or just rubbing each other the wrong way. "I'm sure that Starfleet isn't that different from the other forms of military out there."

Jack directed Sulu which way to move, and on the count of three, they quickly maneuvered Ianto down the couch. It wasn't pretty, but they hadn't dropped him so that was a plus for them. Jack pulled Ianto's feet up onto the arm of the couch so that they were above his head level as he answered Sulu's question. "Smelling salts? Yeah, it works. I mean, it's not actually salt. It's a chemical compound that triggers an inhalation reflex. Because fainting is caused by a lack of blood to the brain, that usually wakes the person up. It sounds kinda primitive, I know, but it gets the job done." He looked up at Sulu from where he was kneeling beside the sofa, and shrugged. "I was a field medic for a while in World War II," he said, by way of explanation.

Once they settled Ianto onto the couch, Sulu found that it was simply easier at this point to just sit on the cushion by Ianto's knees, to keep his arm from dropping over the side in a really uncomfortable way.

"It really isn't, if you disregard the fact that it's the Federation's military, as opposed to just one world's. I've read a lot of historical information on various military forces from Earth and it seems that the basic ideals are the same. Protection of interests, and all. Starfleet also has a big hand in scientific study and exploration, though." He knew he was doing the rambling thing again, like he did with plants, but he had a feeling Jack wasn't really going to mind.

As for the smelling salts, "You're Dr. McCoy's worst nightmare then, I bet," he said with a bit of a laugh, using his free hand to push his hair out of his face. He really, really needed to invest in some hair ties one of these days, since he had a feeling turning him into a girl was the community's favorite thing to do to him. "Sometimes he gets on these rants about 20th century medical practices. You know, needles and saws and stuff. 'Barbaric,'" he quoted McCoy, trying his best to sound like a gruff, unimpressed Southern man as he did so. "Like anyone had a choice back then." Or now, really. But Sulu wasn't going to harass anyone about 21st century practices, especially when he was in that century.

Jack nodded. He understood the whole military with a motive of bettering the universe thing. After all, he'd joined the Time Agency with a similar goal of bettering things like the Agency ideally was supposed to do. It didn't quite end out working like that, and there was also Gray and John and the fact that Jack had been so young and stupid back then, but. He knew what it was like, nonetheless.

Jack chuckled at Sulu's impression of this 'Dr. McCoy' of his. "God, but don't I know exactly what he means," Jack said, with a smile. "I didn't realize how easy things were where I came from until I started experiencing this era. I mean. They haven't even got laser saws around yet. It's all laser scalpels and doing what you can with only what this planet has given them, and they have no idea."

Jack absentmindedly ran his hand through Ianto's hair, partly because it felt better just to touch him because of this virus, and partly because when he was passed out like this, Jack was reminded yet again of how young he was, and yet how little time in the scheme of it all, in the timespan of Jack's life, that he really had left. "They really have no idea what there is that's out there. Terrible and wonderful things. Things to make their lives better and so much worse. Maybe... Maybe it's better that way, for now, though. At least, that's what I like to tell myself, anyway." He chuckled again. "The 20th and 21st centuries aren't actually as impossible as you would think to live in, once you're actually stuck living there."

Sulu really could understand what Jack was saying. It was probably one of the many things they could connect on, all things considered; Jack was from a future even Sulu hadn't seen, but there were obviously still some similarities between them. And, even with the fact that Jack was so far ahead of Sulu, they both had the common ground of being men from the future. It was actually a little reassuring to know that, despite the fact that the two of them could fight pretty badly on occasion (or... well, on all occasions), they still had a few common threads. Not too many, but enough.

"I don't really think they're impossible to live in," he said with a small smile and a shake of his head. "I mean, some of the cultural tics they have out here are a little strange to me, but. I'm not from too far in the future." He watched how Jack treated Ianto like this with a thoughtful look on his face, thinking about - well. How strange this probably was going to be for Ianto, and how strange it was for him, and how entirely unstrange it probably was going to be for Jack. Sulu wasn't entirely unused to this kind of lifestyle, though he'd never had to deal with it himself, but Jack - from what Ianto had said, and how Jack acted - didn't seem to even bat an eye. He probably should tell Jack about the date. Not now, though - not when they were all virus afflicted and Ianto was passed out.

...Speaking of viruses, "I figured you would have changed out of the uniform by now," Sulu said with a grin, "Are you just that enthralled with being a Starfleet officer?"

Jack chuckled softly. "The uniform is pretty dashing on me, don't you think?" he asked, with a grin to Sulu. A grin that lasted only for a few seconds, though. He was feeling a little stressed, what with Ianto not having woken up yet, and the whole uniform thing. "It won't come off," he said, with a sigh. "I tried to take it off, and it just won't. It's not even like it's tight or uncomfortable or anything, but. It looks like I'm going to be stuck in it for another while."

He laughed a little, not really moving his hand from Ianto's hair. "Never would've thought that I'd have a problem getting out of my clothes," he said, with a wink to Sulu. "I guess there are worse fates than being stuck in someone else's uniform for a few days, though," he said. "Though if I don't get my wriststrap back by the end of this, I'm hunting whoever the hell this uniform belongs to down until he gives it back."

That was probably the weirdest thing Sulu had ever heard of the community doing; sticking someone in somebody else's clothes? Really? He rolled his eyes at Jack's wink, though it was all in good humor and he did it with a smile still on his face. "It's a weird virus, that's for sure," he said, "But at least it wasn't something embarrassing - if there's even an outfit out there that you'd be embarrassed to be in."

Pausing, he added with a small frown, "You'll get your wriststrap back. It's highly unlikely that the community wouldn't return it to you; I mean, despite everything it puts us through, it usually tries to put things right at the end of it."

Jack laughed at the idea that there might not be an outfit he'd be embarrassed to be caught in. "I'm sure that there is one out there somewhere. I just... I can't think of any at the moment," he said with a grin. He had been one to stand tall, proud, and nude in front of a globally broadcast television show, far away and long ago on Satellite 5, after all.

Jack wondered if they shouldn't try shaking Ianto awake. That was one way to do it. Or maybe even slapping him awake (gently, that was). He just couldn't bring himself to do anything about it, though. He just kept his hand on the other man, crouching down in front of the couch so that he was kneeling next to where Ianto was lying and Sulu was sitting. "Sure, it puts things back in the end," Jack said bitterly, "but that doesn't change the fact that these things have happened in the first place. I mean. There've been some pretty horrible things that've happened during viruses. This is by far not anywhere close to being the worst." He did want his clothes back, though. And his wriststrap. He never knew how inconvenient it was not to have one until he didn't have it anymore.

Sulu had firsthand experience with some terrible viruses; he knew Jack was right, and that the things the community might do to you could be far worse than a gender-swap or a stubborn shirt. He'd been bitten by a zombie, for God's sake - he'd felt just what that was like, and sometimes he would relive it in his sleep. He'd seen his captain deal with the death and destruction of his entire crew and had been unable to reassure him that it was all fake.

He frowned and looked away, grabbing a lock of his now long hair in his free hand, the hand locked with Ianto's brushing against the man's hand before he thought better of it. Jack probably wouldn't be offended, but there was no way to distract the conversation away from it. "Yeah," he said slowly. "I know all about that. But," he said after a moment, looking back at Jack, "I didn't stay that way and in the end, I know it was a one time deal, that it was temporary. All of this is temporary." Hopefully he wasn't referring to this thing with Ianto, which seemed to be blooming under the community's "gentle" care.

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