parked: ([girl] whaaaaaat)
[personal profile] parked
There were three things Sulu always expected when he woke up: some kind of alarm, his regulation sized bed and his regulation sheets. In his line of work, those were the only safe assumptions; for all anyone knew, they could be waking up to their timer alarms or the red alert alarms, or they could wake up on the floor after an attack - but they would always wake up near it.

Being that he was not really a morning person, it took Sulu a groggy minute of groaning and half-hearted stretching to realize that his three safety blankets? They weren't there. Instead, his bed felt - bigger, really, and... manlier. Really manly. Which felt weirder than the softer sheets, the metal bracelet around his wrist and the fact that he had hair in his eyes.

...Hair in his eyes.

Oh, Jesus. He knew what that meant -

Sulu snapped to attention and sat up, only to realize that he was now straddling someone, he was a girl, and he was in his boxers. And that was it. Part of him realized he was on top of Ianto, but the rest of him then followed suit and noticed that his free hand was on Jack's chest, and this was way out of his comfort zone.

Being that he was terrible at this whole "suddenly a girl thing," Sulu could only do one thing in that moment: he shrieked and tried to fling himself off the bed, despite the fact that he was handcuffed to Ianto. "SHIT!"

Date: 2010-07-15 09:38 pm (UTC)
torchwoodteaboy: (beg your pardon?)
From: [personal profile] torchwoodteaboy
Ianto was actually pretty comfortable with the way that he had been sleeping, until he was rudely awakened not only by screaming directly in his ear, but also his arm being yanked sideways by, what, handcuffs? Ianto's eyes popped open immediately, because for one, that had really hurt, not having expected it, both the shriek and the yanking, and for another thing, that voice was definitely a woman's, and Ianto wasn't really in the habit of going to bed with women at that moment, platonic or otherwise.

And of course the shriek woke Jack up as well, and since the man was a lot better at waking up in the morning than Ianto was, he took in the situation a lot quicker than the other man did. "Well," he said, getting an eyeful of the 'unknown woman's' assets, as it were. "Hello there, beautiful."

Ianto, at least, had the presence of mind to recognize that the shriek meant something not very good. He shot a look at Jack, and lightning quick, pulled the sheet over to cover her, both from Jack and from himself, because well, he was a man, and she was a gorgeous woman, and it was very hard for him not to appreciate that fact. "Here. God. I'm...I'm sorry. I don't even..." he babbled, having absolutely no idea what was going on there. "A-are...are you alright?"

Date: 2010-07-15 10:04 pm (UTC)
51stcentury: (knowing smile)
From: [personal profile] 51stcentury
"Whoa," Jack said, holding up his hands as she turned to him. He was a little disappointed that they'd had a sheet right there to cover her up with, but since she knew his name, maybe something good had happened? "So we're on first name terms, then? And what do you mean, your uniform?" He looked down at himself. Huh. Definitely not what he normally went to bed in. Then again, he normally didn't go to bed in clothes at all. "Babe, I have no idea what you're doing here, or why you seem to be cuffed to Ianto, there, but this definitely can't be your uniform. It's, well. It fits me too well to be yours."

Ianto recognized the colors and style of the uniform, but not the ranking. Whoever's uniform that was, they definitely weren't a lieutenant like Sulu was. If the person attached to him thought that that was their uniform, though, did that mean...? "Are...are you in Starfleet, then?" Ianto asked, trying to force his brain to function correctly. He hoped that the woman would give him a moment to do so. He had woken up to the shrieking of an unidentified gorgeous what, member of Starfleet all but draped over him? He was more than a little lost in that moment. "What...why are you...?" Ianto was starting to feel a little sick, actually. Maybe it was just because he wasn't used to his mornings starting out with quite such a bang, normally.

Date: 2010-07-15 10:36 pm (UTC)
torchwoodteaboy: (shit!)
From: [personal profile] torchwoodteaboy
Ianto was pretty sure that his eyes couldn't have gotten any wider, but then the unidentified gorgeous woman proclaimed herself to be Sulu, and he looked, really looked, and by god, he could see it. He wasn't sure how, but it suddenly clicked and he could see Sulu in the way that she was reacting, and this was too weird for him, because Sulu was a man, but the person in front of him, she was definitely all woman, and Ianto had seen that, he was pretty sure that a naked female Sulu had been draped over him not more than five minutes earlier, and...by god. He, like Sulu, was only dressed in his boxers. He felt his face grow very hot, very quickly, but well. Sulu had the sheet to cover up, so he had nowhere to hide. "...oh," Ianto said, brightly. He was pretty sure he was flushing right down his neck to his chest. And god, he really wasn't feeling very well at all.

Jack burst out laughing. "Oh my god, really? I would never've guessed. You're not usually quite as buxom as you are at the moment, Lieutenant." He shook his head, chuckling. "This is priceless. Your face. Ianto's face. And this uniform..." He chuckled some more. "I have absolutely no idea where it came from, why I'm wearing it, or whose it is, but I'm really not too concerned about that at the moment. I take it that neither of you remember getting here or ending up in this situation in the first place?" Okay, so. Jack was starting to feel a bit sick to his stomach as well, but. That could just be from all of the laughing he was holding in, because he was trying to be at least a little nice to the other two.

Date: 2010-07-15 11:10 pm (UTC)
torchwoodteaboy: (worried)
From: [personal profile] torchwoodteaboy
Jack watched Sulu check the hemline, tilting his head to the side. "You mean that this is a captain's uniform?" He laughed. "Well, at least the community's still got something right. I'm definitely the captain of this ship. Over here, anyway. Wonder why I'm stuck in this uniform, though, while you're a woman. I mean, not that I mind the woman bit, but. Obviously, you didn't end up in either of our clothes, for one." He looked over at Ianto.

Ianto didn't know whether to be flushed a deep crimson, or go absolutely white, and therefore sincerely hoped that he wasn't turning up a patchy combination of the two. If people could even do that, he didn't really know. Because, well. He was in his boxers, and Sulu had been on top of him and he really didn't feel very well at all. He wasn't sure whether he should move, or what should happen there. He looked at Jack, who was looking at him, looking almost concerned, through his amusement.

"Hey," Jack said, "you alright, there, Ianto?" Ianto couldn't nod and lie that yes, he was fine, but he couldn't say that he was necessarily hating the situation either, because well...attractive woman Sulu on top of him. He just kind of gaped at the two of them. When he did find his voice, all he could say was, "I think...I might be lying on it. The comm, that is."

Date: 2010-07-15 11:47 pm (UTC)
51stcentury: (bw smile)
From: [personal profile] 51stcentury
"N-no, you didn't," Ianto said. "And... I'm fine. I just. Waking up. And. Stuff." Lord, but his sentences were regressing to just being one or two words, he was that out of it. He didn't get that Sulu pushing him meant for him to move, though. He was kind of preoccupied freaking out. "I mean. Sure. You're...you're a woman. And you're...handcuffed to me. Jack's got a uniform on, while I...I'm only in my boxers. Everything's...everything's great."

Luckily for Sulu, Jack was starting to get on top of things, and realizing that he wasn't feeling so great either, and that Ianto was looking kind of peaky, and the only other time he'd felt like this had been when he'd been tied to Mitsuru, so. Jack sat up, and reached for Ianto. "C'mon, kid, let's get you up," he said, grabbing Ianto's shoulders to help him sit up and roll off of Sulu's comm. As soon as Jack touched him, Ianto felt immediately less sick.

"Any better?" Jack asked. Ianto nodded. Jack took his hand away. "And now?" he asked. Ianto groaned, moving to lean his head onto Jack's shoulder and slowly realize himself what was going on with the whole sick feeling and the fact that they were just as stuck together as he and Sulu were, just not as visibly so. "And better again?" Ianto nodded, and managed to find his voice enough to say, "Yeah. But...I still don't have a shirt on."

"Well," Jack said, with a smile because they'd figured it out and Ianto really was adorable before he'd woken up properly, before turning to Sulu. "I think we're all three of us going to be stuck together for the time being." He shrugged, not really minding. "So, is that your comm, are we going to have to do some more digging to find it?" he asked, with a smile that showed he wasn't too bothered about digging around in the bed with either of them.

Date: 2010-07-16 01:49 am (UTC)
torchwoodteaboy: (sigh)
From: [personal profile] torchwoodteaboy
"This has happened before?" Jack asked, grinning at him. "Not only this, but the whole waking up in well, basically nothing thing?" He shook his head, laughing. "Wake up in anyone else's bed then, too, or is this your first time for that, at least?"

Ianto had enough presence of mind to smack Jack across the chest with his free hand and then just sort of keeping it there, to not break the touch as he picked his head up off of Jack's shoulder to turn to look at Sulu, sighing. "It...it's another virus," he said, his voice sounding more embarrassed than it really should be, considering. "We're basically going to feel sick unless we aren't touching. It happened before, that's how we know how to deal with it. Well," he said, pausing, "not between the two of us, we were stuck to different people, but the idea behind it is the same. So."

He sighed again. "We're basically going to need to stay touching, unless we want to start to feel horrible. And...we really can't leave the room from each other. Which means," he said, looking apologetically at Sulu and raising his hand with the handcuffs up, "that you're stuck to both of us, I'm afraid. Though I second your sentiments. I really don't think I'm sleeping in just boxers ever again, thanks to this community," he said, blushing.

Date: 2010-07-16 02:15 am (UTC)
51stcentury: (big smile)
From: [personal profile] 51stcentury
"Well," Ianto said, his brain finally waking up and functioning some as he kept his hand on Jack (which was odd, considering usually proximity to Jack didn't usually mean clear-headedness), "it means that we've ended up with some sort of mix of viruses. Because, well. This touching virus, we've seen before. And well, the handcuffs have to be a virus as well, because..." Ianto blushed. "Yeah. So. The uniform must be some sort of virus as well."

"Pretty weird way to virus someone, though," Jack said, with a shrug. "I mean, other than wearing this uniform, there doesn't seem to be anything else. I mean, why would it stick me in one anyway. Unless..." Jack cocked his head. "Didn't you say that you thought that it had to be someone else's uniform? Would that mean that someone else is walking around in whatever I was wearing when I went to sleep?" he asked, with a smirk. "Because, y'know, I don't tend to wear much of anything, so. There must be one seriously naked Starfleet captain out there wondering where his uniform went. Better hope he has another one. I'm sure that'd be a pretty awkward call to any of his subordinates, y'know?"

Date: 2010-07-16 03:17 am (UTC)
torchwoodteaboy: (small smile)
From: [personal profile] torchwoodteaboy
"No," Ianto said, with a blush, ducking his head. "I...really can't say that I am." Not that he and Jack hadn't experimented with other sorts of restraints, but this was neither the time nor the place to mention any of that.

"The Defiant, eh?" Jack asked, with a smirk. That had definitely been some flirting, there. "Impressive that you can recognize things like that. Interesting that the uniforms are also marked for which ship you're on, though. I mean, well. We didn't really have uniforms out of the Agency School, but. We certainly didn't have anything like that, in any of the wars or such that I've been in. Lucky for me, too. I've been assigned to some pretty unfortunately named ships, over the years."

At the mention of clothes, though, Ianto stiffened a little bit, as an idea came to him. "If...if you'd like, you could have something of mine, but. I...I have some of Lisa's stuff around in storage. It might be a little big on you, but. I'm sure there must be something in there that would fit, but. It's really up to you. I...I don't know how long it is that we're going to be stuck like this, so. Maybe...maybe it's better if we went to find something in there, yeah? I mean, I'm taller than you normally, so. I bet that anything I give you of mine would probably look ridiculous, anyway."

Jack had mixed emotions about Lisa. He hadn't ever known her before she was the Cyberwoman trying to kill his team, including Ianto himself, so. His opinion of her was a little skewed. But it was obvious that Ianto had loved her, so. He didn't know how much Sulu knew about Lisa, but he hoped that regardless, Sulu would understand that Ianto offering off Lisa's clothes obviously meant that they were pretty close friends, considering what he'd kept of hers was obviously special to him and hard to get rid of like he did the rest. Jack put a hand on Ianto's back, subtly rubbing gently.

Date: 2010-07-16 04:10 am (UTC)
51stcentury: (wriststrap)
From: [personal profile] 51stcentury
Ianto shook his head. "No, really, it's okay," he said. "I'm certainly not using them for anything at the moment, so. It'd be actually putting them to use, for the first time in a while. And well, I can't have you walking around in just a towel or the sheets," he said, with a blush. "Really, it's no inconvenience at all. All we have to do is send Jack up into the crawl-space for the box, anyway. It's not like I have a lot of things in storage up there, it's pretty much just that box. That'd be fine with you, wouldn't it, Jack?" Ianto asked, turning to Jack for support there.

Although it was tempting to side with Sulu and say that it really didn't matter, that he wouldn't mind the other--well, actually, Sulu was a woman, at the moment, then, wasn't he?--he wouldn't mind Sulu walking around in just a sheet and boxers for the whole day, not when he was looking like this, but. He knew better, especially when Ianto was offering up Lisa's clothes for him. "I wouldn't have a problem with it, either way," he said, instead. "I mean, we might have to get out of the flat, anyway. Who knows whether the Hub's set up to..." Jack trailed off, looking down at his wrist. "Fuck," he said, "the bastard has my wriststrap!"

Date: 2010-07-16 04:34 am (UTC)
torchwoodteaboy: (thoughtful worried)
From: [personal profile] torchwoodteaboy
Jack's jovial mood about Sulu being naked and the whole situation in general took a terrific nose dive. "Alright, well. We are going to get you clothes, because without that wriststrap, I have no contact with the main computer systems in the Hub, should something happen, so we're going to have to make the trip there, hopefully as quick as we can. And, y'know. Stay there. Until the community decides that it's had its fun and gives me back what's mine. So help me god, you'd better be right about it being okay, and that they won't take it apart for science, or anything like that. I want it working the same way it did yesterday when it came back, or I am tracking down this captain and showing him what it's like when people come and just up and mess with his things."

Ianto raised an eyebrow at Jack, trying to be a calming presence, there. "Alright, alright. We'll go to the Hub. C'mon, then," he said, motioning for Jack to get up and for Sulu to do the same, so he didn't have to climb over either of them to get out of the bed. "The crawl space is above the closet, all you have to do is pop up there. Like I said, that box is the only thing up there, so it's not like it'll be too hard to find." He let go of Jack, knowing that they'd be fine for a few moments not touching, as Jack pulled the door in the ceiling open and pulled out the footstool Ianto had waiting there specifically for that purpose.

Not even a minute later, Jack'd pulled down the box and put it on the foot of Ianto's bed. Ianto moved to put a hand on Jack's shoulder, both for the touch, and also for the thanks. "Alright, well," he said, before moving to go through the box, before pausing. "Oh. I...well. This won't be a problem for you, but. Damn it all." He turned to Sulu, raising the hand that was cuffed to Sulu's. "We're...not going to be able to manage sleeves, with these things on."

Date: 2010-07-16 04:59 am (UTC)
torchwoodteaboy: (eyebrow raise)
From: [personal profile] torchwoodteaboy
"Well," Ianto said, suddenly remembering a shirt that he'd kept of Lisa's and turning back to go through the box one-handed, "maybe it won't be a problem for you...if I can just find..." It'd been one of his favorites, a strapless tank-top that she'd worn out a few times, including one of their first dates. Like hell he was going to say that out loud, neither Sulu nor Jack would really react to that well. It had a shelf bra and everything and lord knows why Ianto knew all of these terms, but. Should Sulu not be all that comfortable with Lisa's lingerie, there would at least be that.

"Aha!" he said, pulling it out of the box, and holding it up to Sulu. "Here you are. You should be able to step into it and get it on that way. As for the bottoms," Ianto said, coloring. "Obviously you'll need some pants, but. Other than that...I'm guessing you'd prefer trousers, but. I'm not sure that Lisa's would fit you, so. You might be better off with one of her skirts, if... If that's okay with you..."

Jack smirked at the two of them. "Are you sure you're not just saying things like that because you want to get the pretty lady to show off her nice legs, Ianto?" Jack asked, joking around for the moment, because his options were either joke or fume, and Sulu didn't seem to be too keen on him fuming at the unidentified Starfleet captain that was now in possession of his prized wriststrap. Ianto turned and gave Jack a look that clearly stated that the comment was not appreciated. Even if the thought was now planted in his mind, and wasn't coming out any time soon.

Date: 2010-07-16 05:24 am (UTC)
torchwoodteaboy: (fuck...)
From: [personal profile] torchwoodteaboy
Ianto blushed harder as Sulu verbally agreed with Jack on that, turning back to the box to look for a skirt for Sulu, and finding one a few moments later. It had been kind of tight on Lisa, but then again, she had been a pretty curvy woman, so. It'd probably fit Sulu differently. Still, it went with the top, and it'd probably fit without too much trouble. Oh, right. He reached in and found the first pair of pants that his hand met, and added those to the mix, trying very hard not to notice which pair they were. "Here," he said, holding the clothing items out to Sulu. "Because, well. Boxers aren't really going to work underneath this skirt, and all." God, but he had been a woman before too, why was he blushing so much at all of this?

Jack grinned. Ianto was being charmingly polite about the whole situation, and it was beyond amusingly adorable for him. "Kickass woman in some pretty kickass clothes, if you don't mind me saying. Now." He smiled, raising an eyebrow, and grinning widely at Sulu. "How are you going to make us turn around for you to get dressed if you're tied to Ianto? Because it's pretty hard to get dressed one-handed, that's all I'm saying." Ianto's back stiffened, and he had to take a pause to breathe and not yell at Jack, doing some counting of his own. He was pretty sure that Jack was doing all of this on purpose now, damn him.

Date: 2010-07-16 03:19 pm (UTC)
51stcentury: (smirk)
From: [personal profile] 51stcentury
Jack held his hands up in front of him for the second time that day. "Okay, okay, I can take a hint. Guess I should lay off of the complimenting your womanly physique for a little while, at least. Although well. It's not like you seem to care. It's Ianto here that seems to be taking the offense for everything, though I'm just going to say that all I'm doing is stating the obvious, here. But if you insist..." Jack turned in place, moving to grin at the opposite wall from where Sulu was standing. "Does this work for you?" he asked. "I promise, there aren't even any mirrors in this direction for me to spy with. Scout's honor, as you like to say."

Ianto, on the other hand, was a bit nervous for this, because for one, getting clothes on one-handed was a challenge. He knew from when he'd dislocated his shoulder and he'd been ordered by doctors to keep it in a sling for a few days, that it ached too much to move around enough to use it to get dressed. He was actually worried that Sulu just might have to use his other hand, and then Ianto's hand would be that much closer to touching and things could just go so horribly wrong, there, and. Jack reached out a hand and put it on Ianto's shoulder, and he jumped, snapping back into his thoughts. "Yes," Ianto said, knowing that it would probably be a long time before this blush left his face, "right. We'll...we'll give you as much privacy as we can, and you can just. Change. I'll...I'll obviously need to stick close by, but."

"Relax, Ianto," Jack said, physically turning Ianto around, "we both know that you won't be anything less than a gentleman about it. Now. Give the lady her space," he said, winking at Ianto before turning back to look at the opposite wall with Ianto. "Alright, then, Lieutenant, work your magic!"

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