when I look at the stars I feel like myself

Three things about being a woman:

1. Never again will I make light of the regulation uniform for women. As a matter of fact, I'm going to talk to someone about making male regulation uniforms applicable for female members. These things are ridiculous.

2. My normal demeanor and behavior is apparently a lot worse as a woman than it is normally. If another person gives me that look, I swear...

3. I'm stressing out a lot easier like this and I don't want to say it's because of the hormonal changes, but I'm pretty sure that has something to do with it.


I really wish I hadn't been so ridiculous and thought that I shouldn't tell Jim what was going on. I don't even know why I decided this was a good idea. Lying to your Captain is never okay, no matter what you want to think! I just choked, and I thought that if I pretended I was someone else I wouldn't have to worry about it and then this could all be put behind me once it was over - if it gets over, because really, everyone says the viruses never act like this, so who knows if it'll ever stop?

I keep upsetting myself with this. I need to go drown myself take a shower and try to meditate or something, even if I've never been that great at meditation. This is so stupid!

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The idea of "love at first sight" is kind of silly when you think about it. Nothing starts out as a full blooming, solid emotion - it needs to grow before you can really get anything out of it. The thing is, though, that people usually say "instant chemistry" or something to indicate sexual attraction, rather than romantic attraction. It's kind of weird that the question's phrasing it in more long-term ways.

I've tried giving other people second chances romantically and it usually ends in about the same way that it did the first time. It's not really quantum physics, there. Unromantically, second chances usually end badly because there's a lingering bitterness over whatever happened that made you two stop being friends. It's not the best, but it happens.

The first person I dated in the Academy wasn't exactly my type, but they grew on me, so I guess that's a yes.


These writer's blocks are pretty interesting for when you're trying to get some sleep and can't. Good way to wind down.