parked | Log with Kirk: Feed Me, Sulu!

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Log with Kirk: Feed Me, Sulu!

Sulu is hanging out in his favorite place to hang out off-duty: the greenhouse. His little jungle is flourishing, despite the coldness of space and the fact that it was, by Earth's standards, the middle of winter; he's so pleased that things like that don't matter inside a starship.

Anyway, his pet project/straight-up-pet, the strange tentacle monster from the jungle planet, is his current focus. The thing needs to eat, and since its roots aren't strong enough to grasp any kind of automatic dispenser lever and its teeth aren't hardened enough to actually chew anything, it's up to Sulu to feed the thing its little nutrient supplement and freeze-dried grasshoppers. If only he could get some live ones...

Needless to say, he isn't planning on having visitors.

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As far as Jim's day went, it had been pretty boring. Neutral space tended to be, and he had spent most of it doing rounds. Once he'd gotten kicked out of sick bay (apparently, it as too damn loud in there with half of engineering getting caught up in one of Scotty's experiments for Jim to add to the trouble), he evacuated to the next best place he knew for entertainment.

Sulu's greenhouse.

He didn't announce himself when he came in, he assumed the chime of the sliding door would be sufficiently informative, and immediately began nosing around in the plants -- not literally, of course, because he was kicked out of sick bay for the day and he didn't want to risk needing a trip down there. Through what looked to be a fern, he began speaking to Sulu, who was barely visible amongst the greenery.

"I didn't even know you had this many plants in here," he appraised in what might have been slight awe.

Sulu's back was turned to Jim, which is a wonderfully good thing as he suddenly pales and looks at the plant in aghast horror. Shit.

It doesn't really help him figure out a plan, just wiggles a little and makes a sort of cooing noise. That's... really unhelpful. Well, you know what, it's probably about time anyway, right?

"Uh, yeah." He slides the tarp over Audrey III casually and turns to grin at Jim. "I've been collecting. Just a part of my weird hobby, you know?" He maneuvers around one of the plant-laden tables to come into clear view. "What can I do for you, Captain?"

That cooing noise doesn't escape Jim's exceptional senses, and he suddenly stands up straighter, trying to see Sulu over the top of the plant he was scrutinizing, but all he sees is a tarp. Dissatisfied, he comes out from behind the other plants.

"Just doing rounds. You know, making sure everything's going okay." He doesn't seem to catch onto Sulu's self-proclaimed weirdness being strange, and instead looks around. "Did you hear that noise? That was so weird ..."

He is going to buy that plant a damned muzzle. He goes to examine something that was almost exactly, yet entirely unlike a rosebush, like he can't decide if it needs to be trimmed or not. It really doesn't. Well, one way or another Jim is going to find out now; he's not one to let something slide, so...

"Actually, I'm glad you asked. I was waiting to..." Figure out how to keep you from throwing it out the airlock, "Make sure I had all the information I needed, but I guess I could show you now." Sulu keeps a deliberately bland smile on his face, kind of like the guy at a waystation that wants to sell you small, furry animals.

"Show me what?" Jim looks suddenly interested, following Sulu to the pseudo-rosebush as if he's expecting whatever the lieutenant wants to show him hiding around a corner or under one of the tables. His eagerness is hard to miss. "You know I'm not into the plant thing like you are, right?" The tone in his voice makes it clear - this had better be good is what he is actually trying to say. "I just want to make sure you know that so you're not ... disappointed if I'm underwhelmed by the fact that you spend all day pruning and watering."

Well, the interest is nice, even if Jim's kind of rubbing in the "plants are soooo 2023" attitude. He shrugs. "I'm pretty excited about it, I won't lie, but you might... not." Approve, be enthralled by adorable little tendrils, want to take care of it like he does, any of those apply.

He gestures for Jim to follow him and goes back to the tarp, where Audrey III is now making little grumbling noises. He's pretty sure he's spoiling it, really, feeding it so often; the jungle was a lot tougher than Sulu's greenhouse of ~wonder~. "Just remember, I only held off on showing you because I'm not completely educated on it yet, not because it's dangerous or anything."

With that... warning, he peels away the tarp.

When the tarp is peeled away, any response that Jim was forming gets caught in his throat because there are not many plants that he can recognize by name or nature, but that is definitely one of them. Once you've gotten up close and personal with a plant's teeth, it tends to stick with you.

"That's --" He walks closer, inspecting it, trying to get a good look without getting too close. "It looks a lot smaller on your greenhouse table." He poked a tendril. "You have a way of controlling it, right? You didn't bring it up here without having some kind of ... pesticide spray or whatever that can knock it out?"

Much better reaction than he had expected. He grins a bit now, going right on up to it and letting it reach out and curl a root around his wrist. "It's a podling, not the one we had to deal with. You don't have to worry, the teeth are basically like... the bark on a tree. Right now they're too soft to chew through much more than dried insects, much less skin. And I have several varieties of weed killer that would probably work on it, though I'm not planning on testing any of them until it develops pods of its own."

Fascinated, Jim watched its interactions with Sulu, studying it for any hint of malicious intent before he reached his hand out to let one of the roots curl around his hand as well. It was weaker than the other one had been, its grip certainly didn't feel like it could hold a grown man up by his ankles, and it didn't seem to be a direct threat to the ship.

Besides, Jim would have to be the biggest hypocrite alive to criticize Sulu bringing a questionably dangerous plant aboard when Jim had brought a questionably recovered serial killer. He just wasn't going to sink that low, especially since he barely had enough information to pass judgment.

"What are you going to do when it gets as big as the other one? I mean, you can't prune a tentacle monster, can you?" He pulled his hand back to move to prod at its teeth thoughtfully, jerking his hand away before it could get bitten, despite Sulu's assurance as to the safety.

Sulu is undeniably very pleased that Jim isn't flipping his lid like McCoy had. Then again, McCoy was already pretty uptight and getting high probably didn't help him...

"I'm not sure yet. Going by the growth rate it's exhibited so far, we won't have to worry about that for... years. Then again, it may not have hit a growth spurt yet. I'm honestly not sure about how it lives naturally. For all I know, it's like a cat and keeps itself tidy." If not, he's up for the challenge. "It's an ongoing examination." He gives Jim a look. "I wouldn't bring anything on board that I thought would endanger the crew or the ship, though. And if it can be trained, which I think it can be, at least to some extent... it shouldn't present any problems."

"I trust you on that, Mr. Sulu." There was an unspoken clause of 'don't disappoint', but after dealing with hysteric 'Demora' for days, he knew better than to add it in. Instead, he went back to playing with the many-tentacled beast, letting it wrap around his fingers. He was barely able to hold back a childish grin, watching it. It was almost like having a pet around, but less mess. A quick look to Sulu and he cleared his throat, realizing it wasn't very professional to be giggling at questionably dangerous plants aboard.

"Who else knows about it? I'm going to have to inform Commander Spock, you realize. Better that he knows about it now than if it presents a problem and he finds out one of us didn't mention it. For obvious reasons, I'm going to ask we keep it mostly to ourselves. The chances of a widespread panic are too high, considering its mother."

Sulu doesn't need Jim to think it; making a promise like that is pretty indicative of his assurance on the matter. "Don't worry, I'll set up a play-time for you and Audrey III so you can have your kid-with-a-puppy moments," he grins.

The question makes him shrug a little sheepishly. "Well, I invited Dr. McCoy up here on Thanksgiving so he wasn't drowning himself in alcohol and he... might have maybe thrown a minor fit over it when he heard it gurgling." He pinched his fingers so they were almost touching, "Just a little one, though. So, other than him and you, nobody else." He frowns. "I wouldn't want anyone else knowing about it - maybe Pavel but I'm still not sure if this is something I should let him know about. The last thing I need is for people to start making more rumors about me and my plants." Sigh.

"I'll talk to Bones about it, then. I'm sure he was just surprised, I mean, it's not like his meeting with its mom went over well." Jim hid a smile -- poorly -- at the comment about him being a kid with a puppy, mostly because it was entirely accurate but that still didn't mean he was okay with other people pointing it out. Still, he chuckled some. "Did you tell him everything you just told me about it?"

"Well," he shrugs, "We were both a little stoned so I'm pretty sure that put him on edge. He wasn't prepared for it like you," not that you were prepared much either, "And, let's face it, he's a little pessimistic. I did tell him everything I told you, obviously, but I'm not sure he was listening."

"I'll definitely talk to him," he tried to level his surprise that Sulu had gotten McCoy of all people to get high -- he just didn't seem like the type -- so he refrained from commenting lest he betray that awe. "Next time, though, you should probably let me know if you're bringing alien life aboard. I may not know much about it like you do, but I do like to know what is and isn't on my ship." Because, apparently, it was a higher traffic area than he'd realized when he took commission aboard it - between Sylar, Claire and Audrey III, it was turning into a regular hotel.

Yeah, he was pretty impressed with himself too. "I would have but... well, you know. I get carried away when it comes to these kinds of things. Exotic new plants, especially ones that we have so little information on are a hard thing for me to turn down. Did you know that there are only two variations of sentient plants that even remotely fit the bill like Audrey here?" Okay, geeking out is probably not a good thing, but he can't help it. "I'd be lying if I said I wasn't really pleased by the find. You know, after it tried to kill us."

Lucky for Hikaru, Jim was genius enough that spontaneous and unexpected bouts of geeking out were commonplace, as well, so he ate this information up eagerly. He turned back to the plant, and then shifted his attention back to Sulu, undeniably impressed.

"Understandable. I wouldn't have mentioned it right away either." But, it had been weeks. Again, he didn't feel the need to say as much aloud. Granted, Jim felt a certain degree of responsibility for not knowing -- he let Sulu have free reign of the greenhouse and didn't check in as often as a good captain would have. He'd need to work on that, personally. "So, have you been able to find any information on it? I assume you've been checking around."

"I would have mentioned it sooner, but I wasn't sure if it was going to survive with my guesswork. Besides, you just ruined your Christmas present." He laughs but, yeah, he does feel a little bad for holding off on telling Jim. Just another one of those things, man. You know, first you almost get killed by a tentacle monster, then you get turned into a woman, then you get stoned and intimidated by a doctor...

"There's nothing definitive about it in any of the information I have, so I've been basically extrapolating information from the different related plants." He manages to detail at least a basic diet, reproductive habits and potential growth rate, but since I'm no botanist I'm not going to try and BS it like usual.

Nodding along and giving understanding "yeah"s in all the right places, Jim seems to understand most of what Sulu is explaining to him better than anyone would have expected. Satisfied with the information he's been presented, he looks back at the plant, letting it play with his hand again.

"You've done your homework. I'm glad. I guess I should have known not to expect anything less, but I had to be sure." A quick smile. "Sorry I ruined my Christmas present."

If he's surprised that Jim can follow along, he doesn't show it in the slightest, more enthused by the understanding than put off. "I was ready to get rid of it the second I found out anything foreboding, but its pollen is nontoxic and it won't even be able to break skin for months, if not a year or more. By then, it should be able to identify that humans aren't prey."

He grins, satisfied himself that Jim's taking it so well. "I'll find something else, I'm sure. Though it's hard to top a tentacle monster." OK, he wouldn't normally use the term, but... well.

Reaching out, Jim patted Sulu reassuringly on the shoulder, offering a warm-hearted laugh and a genuine smile, two things that were surprisingly rare out of the captain.

"I'm sure you'll find something else, Lieutenant." This time, when he used the man's rank to address him, it didn't have the degree of separation that he usually went for when employing it. It was more familiar, like a term of endearment rather than a title. "You've proven to be quite good at surprising me so far."

Sulu's momentarily surprised by the touch, both because he had been so focused on Audrey III and because it wasn't... you know, the usual thing. Especially not with the cheerful expression. Still, he smiles back mildly. "Hopefully this time it won't involve... almost being eaten or hormonal imbalances."

"I don't know, I think that'd take the fun out of it, don't you?" It was hard to tell whether or not it was entirely in jest or not -- Jim was known for having an uncanny appreciation for unpleasant situations. Tentacle monsters and genderswaps were right up his alley.

"Too much of a good thing can be bad, you know," he chuckles. He'd be lying, though, if he were to say that he isn't trying to think of something suitably adventurous for Jim. He rolled his eyes thoughtfully upward, "I wonder if I can convince the community to trade in your Y-chromosome for an X."

"I'm not really sure there's a bartering system. Besides, I'm meeting Bones' little girl over Christmas and I'd prefer not to be going into hysterics from a hormone imbalance while that happened. Though, I appreciate the thought." As he spoke, he continued to play with Audrey III, even though he didn't know her name yet because he wasn't about to ask if a plant had a name.

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