[this has been a long time coming]

[parked]

I REGRET DIGGING.


[LOCKED TO STARFLEET OFFICIALS]
There is a lot of this. Another community that was closed has even more of it.
[/LOCKED]


((OOC: All replies will be forward-dated to about an hour. Sulu needs time to sort out his thoughts.))

Comments

[parked]

Why offended? Uhura has high standards and she likes him well enough...

[yeswedo.livejournal.com]

He stranded me on Delta Vega! And choked me! Those are not loving gestures, not even on Vulcan.

[parked]

Maybe he just misinterpreted how you prefer people to show you affection.

[yeswedo.livejournal.com]

Maybe you're just being a huge dick right now. I hope Chekov gets you pregnant.

[parked]

Being a dick is how I'm coping with the fact that most people on the internet want us to all be raped and impregnated. I'm sorry if that's unjust of me.

[yeswedo.livejournal.com]

Look, I have a lot of feelings right now, Mr. Sulu, I could use emotional support that doesn't come in the form of Spock and I engaging in auto-erotic asphyxiation.

[parked]

I'd love to be the shoulder for you to cry on, Captain, but I'm afraid I'm too busy getting Dr. McCoy pregnant and molesting Chekov to do anything about it. My schedule's packed.

[yeswedo.livejournal.com]

Yeah, well, Chekov could use getting molested so--







THEY JUST KILLED ME! THEY KILLED ME.

[parked]

I'm ignoring that first part.

What did you do, refuse to marry McCoy or something?

[yeswedo.livejournal.com]

No, we were hiking, and I just got sick and died. I'm not that allergic!

[parked]

Wait, so... Someone requested you dying?

[yeswedo.livejournal.com]

They wanted it to be depressing and see Bones cry over my dead body.

[whogavemethevs.livejournal.com]

I DO NOT NEED TO BE MOLESTED!



WHAT EVEN- YOU DESERVE TO DIE FOR SAYING THAT.

[parked]

CHEKOV DON'T SAY THAT ABOUT THE CAPTAIN, JEEZE!


If you want it so bad, there's fills of that happening, anyway.

[whogavemethevs.livejournal.com]

HE SAID I NEED TO BE MOLESTED!

I read them and didn't like them at first. I sort of see the appeal now.

[parked]

He was joking. You don't need to be molested.

Just stop saying you're going to kill the captain.

[yeswedo.livejournal.com]

... Kidding. It's called kidding, Mr. Chekov.

[whogavemethevs.livejournal.com]

...oh.

You remember the conversation we had about inappropriate things to joke about?

[whogavemethevs.livejournal.com]

You got Dr. McCoy pregnant?

[parked]

Yes, Pavel, I got him pregnant and now I'm coming to ravish you.

[whogavemethevs.livejournal.com]

Cut that sarcasm out, Hikaru. This is serious. The image is traumatizing.

[parked]

Hey, I'm an excellent ravisher.

[hyposprayed.livejournal.com]

God damnit Chekov, don't play into their neurosis.

[parked]

Watch your blood pressure. Don't want to hurt the baby.

[whogavemethevs.livejournal.com]

I don't mean to, Dr. McCoy. At least you weren't molested.