parked | Log with Ianto & Jack: Man! I Feel Like a Woman!

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Log with Ianto & Jack: Man! I Feel Like a Woman!

There were three things Sulu always expected when he woke up: some kind of alarm, his regulation sized bed and his regulation sheets. In his line of work, those were the only safe assumptions; for all anyone knew, they could be waking up to their timer alarms or the red alert alarms, or they could wake up on the floor after an attack - but they would always wake up near it.

Being that he was not really a morning person, it took Sulu a groggy minute of groaning and half-hearted stretching to realize that his three safety blankets? They weren't there. Instead, his bed felt - bigger, really, and... manlier. Really manly. Which felt weirder than the softer sheets, the metal bracelet around his wrist and the fact that he had hair in his eyes.

...Hair in his eyes.

Oh, Jesus. He knew what that meant -

Sulu snapped to attention and sat up, only to realize that he was now straddling someone, he was a girl, and he was in his boxers. And that was it. Part of him realized he was on top of Ianto, but the rest of him then followed suit and noticed that his free hand was on Jack's chest, and this was way out of his comfort zone.

Being that he was terrible at this whole "suddenly a girl thing," Sulu could only do one thing in that moment: he shrieked and tried to fling himself off the bed, despite the fact that he was handcuffed to Ianto. "SHIT!"

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Driving Ianto's car was different from driving the SUV. Sure, the SUV might've had the lights and the technology, but Ianto's car is a sedan, which means it can definitely fit through tighter spaces and is easier to control than the SUV will ever be. More importantly, Ianto didn't usually let him drive it, seeing as how it was Ianto's car, and all. That, and the last time he'd trusted Jack with his car, he'd had to have it reupholstered, because no matter what he tried, he couldn't get the smell of gas fumes out, nor could he shake the knowledge that Jack and John had died in the car, and that Jack had let it happen. So. Jack wasn't allowed to go near it, usually. Except for now.

"I'll try to keep a handle on things," Jack said, with a grin and a shrug. "I mean. I may come out of it all fine, but I'll have a hell of a time coming up with a new teaboy who's quite as great as our Mr. Jones right here, so. I guess I'll have to keep it in control, now won't I. Gwen'd never forgive me."

Ianto sipped his coffee, hoping to draw strength from it. He'd made his cup extra strong, because he knew he was going to need it, both for the situation and general, and for the oncoming car trip to the Hub. He didn't miss the apologetic look from Sulu, but he knew that the other man would probably enjoy it. He only hoped that Sulu was prepared to deal with being attached to him as he silently freaked out about Jack's driving, like he usually did. Maybe the white knuckles and clenched jaw would go unnoticed, though, who knew.

"Are we ready to go, then?" Jack asked, putting his mug in the sink for Ianto to deal with later. Ianto didn't mind. At least he'd put it in the sink, instead of left it somewhere annoying like he sometimes did. Ianto took a long drink of his coffee, finishing it while it was too hot, but the burning helped him focus. "As ready as I'll ever be, I suppose," he answered, moving to put his mug in the sink as well. Jack grinned and all but bounced out the kitchen, grabbing the keys on the way out the front door. Ianto sighed again. What a day this was turning out to be.

"Thank God I can rely on Ianto to be my buffer between your driving and certain death," Sulu laughed. He toyed with his mug of coffee for a moment, contemplating maybe one more sip, but he finally slid it along the counter top, as close to the sink as he could without twisting around Ianto. Even though Jack was on his way out, it still seemed like it might be awkward to wrap himself up in Ianto while the other was around. Baby steps, he supposed.

When Jack had officially stepped outside, Ianto had sighed. He looked up at Ianto, touching his hand again to get his attention, and said, "I'm sorry this is happening like it is. Are you okay?" Because, while Sulu was a woman, it was Ianto who had to deal with being stuck with him, and being stuck with Jack at the same time. It was already pretty clear that, given the chance, Sulu and Jack would very easily gang up on Ianto, and while that was a pleasant surprise for Sulu, he knew it might not be so pleasant for Ianto.

Ianto started a little bit at the touch to his hand, lost in his thoughts of how exactly everything was going to work that day, what with being tied to Sulu and stuck with Jack. He wasn't used to quite so much contact. He could usually disappear into the recesses of the Hub for a few hours by himself, if he needed to have a moment, but. He supposed there would be no moments to himself while this was going on. Not while the other two were awake, at least. He tried to cover up the fact that Sulu had startled him out of his thought process, but he still turned his head to look at the other a bit faster than would really be considered normal.

"Hm? Oh, yeah. I'm..." Ianto smiled slightly, trying to brush it all off, trying to not be affected by all of this, because really, he felt like he shouldn't be. He really shouldn't be fixated on the thought that it was Sulu attached to him, that he woke up with him and was probably going to have to go to sleep with him that night, that he was going to have to spend the entire day with him, and yet he, Ianto, who loved his solitude, really didn't mind so much at all. In some dark recess of his mind, he might actually enjoy all of this. "I'm alright," he said, finally. "C'mon." He cocked his head towards the door. "The sooner we get out there, the sooner we'll be done with this bloody car trip." He turned and started leading Sulu out, grabbing his house keys on the way out, taking a breath before stepping outside, hoping none of his neighbors were out at that hour to see him exiting the house with no shirt, handcuffed to an unknown woman, with another man waiting for them in the car.

Jack smiled at them from behind the wheel, hitting the button to unlock all the doors. "Hop on in," he said, though it sounded more like a command to Ianto.

Sulu could tell that Ianto was saying he was fine mostly to move things along, rather than because he actually felt alright. "You're right," Sulu agreed with a half-smile, following Ianto out. He did his best to keep to Ianto's side, so that anyone looking from either side wouldn't notice the handcuffs - but there wasn't anything to do in case someone looked right at them, unfortunately. It wouldn't do much, either, to hide the fact that Ianto was shirtless.

He took some initiative by maneuvering to open the door, before pausing for a moment. "How do you want to do this? Where should you sit?" he asked Ianto.

Ianto shrugged. "I suppose it depends on whether you'd rather your vantage point be from the front or the back seat of the car. I mean, it'd be easy for the two of us to fit in the back, side-by-side, but. It certainly won't be as exciting for you, not seeing where Jack's going." Because Jack was going to drive like a maniac. He could see it in the man's eyes, especially because Sulu had seemed excited to be able to experience it at least once.

"It doesn't matter to me, one way or the other. If you'd rather sit front, that's fine with me. It'll take some maneuvering, but I'll be fine in the back on my own," he lied. Okay, well. Not lied, exactly. If Sulu were in the back, he'd probably end up clinging to him if Jack got particularly adventurous, whereas...he'd probably end up with a death grip on the stead or the door or something, if he were to sit alone. He sure as hell wasn't going to give Sulu that information aloud, though, so. They were all adults here, and one little car ride alone in the back wasn't going to kill him. Hopefully.

Sulu shook his head and grabbed Ianto's wrist, pulling him gently to the back door. "It'd be too difficult to figure out how we'd sit, if I were in the front. Besides, I don't need to see out the windshield to know that we're centimeters from death at any given moment." He also was aware that Ianto had had a bad experience with a car before, and that he wasn't entirely comfortable with driving, so he didn't want to leave him alone in the back seat.

Besides, he liked the idea of sitting in back with Ianto. Jack would be driving, so it was likely that Ianto would be more capable of holding a conversation than the other man, and... well, he just figured he might as well use this time to his advantage.

Ianto let himself be pulled to the backseat and into the car next to Sulu. He had to admit, the upholstery of his car felt rather strange on his bare skin. He really wasn't used to this whole shirtless thing. Ianto wasn't sure if Sulu remembered that he had trouble with cars sometimes, or whether he had just chosen in favor of what Ianto would want, but he was happy that Sulu was in the back with him. Ianto really was wary of car rides. He had a scar on his lower back, just millimeters shy of his spine, from a stray shard of slate that he'd landed on wrong, after throwing himself from a car that very shortly after that ended up being a rather large fireball at the bottom of the cliff, so. Ianto really wouldn't ever be able to relax around these sorts of things again, and was grateful that, though he might not freak out very visibly, Sulu would at least be there as a physically comforting presence.

"You know, the centimeters from death at any given moment comment really isn't helping my nerves much," Ianto said, situating himself and buckling his seatbelt (another object that he'd definitely not encountered shirtless, before, and felt rather odd, all things considered.

"C'mon, Ianto," Jack said, pulling out onto the street and turning in the complete opposite direction of the Hub, "have I ever crashed a single vehicle that I was driving?"

Ianto looked at him. "You're not helping, either. You know, does the saying 'there's a first time for everything' mean anything to you?"

"Sorry, sorry," Sulu laughed, buckling his own seatbelt. "I didn't really mean it. I'm sure we're going to survive." He hesitated for a moment before putting his hand over Ianto's once again, squeezing it reassuringly as they pulled onto the street. It was strange, but now that Ianto had taken the first step, holding his hand on the stairs and into the kitchen, Sulu felt compelled to keep that contact up whenever possible. It didn't help that they were handcuffed together, making it very hard to resist.

"Seriously, Jack," Sulu added, "Try not to kill either of us." He really didn't sound worried at all, though; after all, he knew how to fly a giant space ship going at warp speed. He was pretty sure that Jack couldn't shock him in a gas-powered car.

Despite what Sulu might think about Jack not being able to shock him with a gas-powered car, Jack was aiming on at least impressing him with his impressive gas-powered car driving, if nothing else. Jack had been there and done that as well, been a pilot of his own ship a few times, and well. A car was definitely not a ship, but it had it's own style. For one, it had tires to work with, he demonstrated, as he cut a corner a bit too fast and the wheels screeched a little bit. Ianto turned his hand in Sulu's grip to hold his hand back. He was going to need all the strength and confidence he could get from the other man, even if he was technically a woman, at that moment.

"Kill you? Nah," Jack said, weaving through traffic to catch the tail end of a yellow light, just before the red, "we're just going to have a bit of an adventure. You were the one who wanted a more exciting car ride, after all," he said with a smile. "Well, your wish is my command." And he kicked it up a gear. Ianto's car protested a little, but then obliged to Jack's commands. Ianto recognized that Jack was probably taking the longest way to get there in the fastest speed he could get away with, and he was not amused.

Yeah, that turn was sharp enough to jolt him around a little, especially since he wasn't used to how his weight was distributed as a woman. "Whoa, there!" he exclaimed, though it definitely was more amused and thrilled than worried or freaking out. He even laughed a bit at the weaving through traffic, though he held tight to Ianto's hand.

"You're right, I did," he conceded, before glancing at Ianto to see if he was already on the verge of panicking, or if this was usual enough for him that he didn't panic about it much any more. He didn't know how Ianto really handled driving with Jack, after all.

Ianto was more than sure that Jack was just showing off for Sulu, now. Well, showing off, and just enjoying himself. Unfortunately for Ianto, Jack enjoying himself meant that Ianto himself couldn't enjoy the trip at all. As Jack shifted gears again, and edged the car through a narrower space than Ianto was comfortable with, between a van and a building, Ianto felt himself pale a little bit. Not substantially, but. Ever since that drive, Ianto hadn't been very good with driving at the edge of the road, regardless as to whether there was a ledge or not. The building certainly wasn't going to be very forgiving, should Jack screw up with this. And alright, yes. Ianto might have tightened his grip on Sulu's hand and stopped talking as Jack continued to recklessly weave through traffic.

Jack, on the other hand, was enjoying driving Ianto's sedan. It definitely fit through more spaces that the SUV never could have. It was a shame there wasn't a siren on it, though. Maybe he could get one installed, though he wasn't sure that Ianto'd let him go near his car ever again. Jack did everything in his power to avoid red traffic lights, from switching lanes to taking sudden turns onto smaller side streets, weaving his way across the streets of Cardiff, a grin on his face the whole time, completely oblivious to his passenger in the backseat, rather enjoying the reactions from the other passenger, Sulu, instead.

Sulu really was entertained by the driving; it was thrilling to be in a small vehicle, veering through the streets and taking sharp turns down side-streets. It was pretty much how he used to fly, back before he joined Starfleet and realized that starships really couldn't make those kinds of hairpin turns. (Unless you were flying in the solar system and knew how to drop down in front of another ship. But that was a different story. He still hadn't read up on how you were supposed to fly inside systems...)

Still, he knew that Ianto was really not enjoying this - he could feel his grip on his hand and could see his face paling a little out of the corner of his eye. In between delighted laughter, he leaned over, sitting up a bit to get near his ear. "I'm right here, Ianto," he said, "Don't worry, it's going to be fine."

Ianto's eyes had somewhere in the middle of it all fallen shut, as if somehow the fact that he had shut his eyes against what was going on around him would make it stop happening, which...was sadly not the case. When Sulu's voice suddenly appeared next to his ear, it did startle Ianto out of it, putting to spots of color on his cheeks in amidst the skin that was even paler than normal. He opened his eyes and slowly turned to look at Sulu, who really was quite close in that moment. It said something about Ianto's state of mind that he didn't even notice the closeness, that he was more focused on the person themself and being distracted from the driving than anything else.

"Yeah, right," Ianto said quietly, softly enough that Jack probably wouldn't hear him in the front. "I mean. Jack's never crashed yet, he says. I just. I wasn't kidding when I told you about that car accident ruining me forever for stunts like these." Ianto was fine with them when he was actually getting chased. The adrenaline was pumping, and he had something to focus on besides the reckless driving itself. He found himself feeling a lot more secure staring into Sulu's eyes, blue searching brown, rather than watching the road, though. His grip on Sulu's hand did nothing to loosen itself. "It's alright, though. I'll...really, I'll be fine. Once I'm out of the car."

"I know," Sulu said, because he did. He flew like Jack drove often enough to have met at least a dozen people who were more than a little wary of hairpin turns and narrow misses. He figured that Ianto was at least lucky enough to not have to deal with the vertical descent factor; cars couldn't dive a few hundred kilometers in a handful of seconds, after all. Not on the streets, at least.

He kept his eyes on Ianto's for a few moments longer, squeezing his hand tightly without being uncomfortable, and then pulled back a bit, winking before twisting to look at Jack with a concerned look on his face. "Hey, take it easy on the turns, I'm getting sick. Unless you like girls puking in your hair."

"Huh?" Jack turned his head to look at Sulu in the rear-view mirror, causing the car to swerve a little bit because of the speed and the lapse in attention, as well as causing Ianto to swallow audibly. "Oh, come on. Not you too." Jack smiled, shaking his head and doing exactly that, toning it down a little bit. "I thought you would have more of a strong stomach, Lieutenant, what with all that flying that you get up to. Obviously, 21st century cars must just be too much for your delicate feminine physique, or something like that."

Ianto sincerely wanted to roll his eyes, but he decided to sigh instead, relaxing a little at Jack toning down the driving. He gave Sulu's hand a light squeeze back, to tell him that he knew that Sulu had just covered for him and made Jack slow down for Ianto's own benefit, not Sulu's. He also gave a small smile to the other man, to show him that he was grateful for Sulu going out of his way to speak up for him, when he wouldn't speak up for himself, there.

Sulu sighed, a little bit relieved. It was by no means too much for him, but he'd rather everyone in the car be happy; he hadn't been sure if Jack was going to listen to him or not, but apparently it had been worth the attempt. "Must be. I'm used to things without wheels - or other vehicles right by you that you can crash in to. But, for all I know, it could just be my poor feminine biology." He didn't sound sick or upset, that was for sure.

Ianto's smile wasn't unusual to see but, for some reason, this one made Sulu feel better than he'd thought it would. Maybe it was because Ianto was grateful instead of upset with him for taking the reins like that, or maybe it was just because they were on the same side for the first time today, hand-in-hand in the back seat of the car. He wasn't sure; he didn't care, either. He just knew that Ianto's grateful smile made his stomach twist pleasantly, in a way he hoped to feel more.

Jack made a face, thinking about it. "Well. I guess that there really aren't that many other ships to crash into, out there in space. Not usually, at any rate. I can see how you'd not really be used to vehicles that travel on the ground and all. I mean, well. I'm not sure how things work out for you, but like. I'd imagine that cars are sort of phased out, when you come from. For the most part, anyway. Unless you're looking for that vintage feel."

"Anyway, we're almost at the Hub. I guess it's alright if I take it easy from here on out. There are going to be a lot more police in this area, anyway." And he was right. A trip that should have taken them a bit of time was almost done, thanks to Jack's driving. Then again, he was the one who had chosen to drive the long way in the first place, so. "Besides, this is Ianto's car, not mine. As much as I might be into driving around some more, I don't think you'd be very happy with Sulu here getting sick all over your upholstery, would you Ianto?"

Ianto shook his head. "Hardly," he said, though in that moment, he was just playing along with the story that Sulu had fed Jack. He was going to have to thank Sulu out loud later, for it. His eyes met Jack's in the mirror. "What do you say that we keep our eyes on the road from now on, though, yeah?"

Jack grinned at Ianto in the mirror, throwing off a mock salute, before putting both hands properly on the wheel. "Yes, Mr. Jones," he said, in his best imitation of a chauffeur. Ianto rolled his eyes yet again. He was feeling better about the situation, now that Jack had calmed down his driving. He...still hadn't let go of Sulu yet, though. He wasn't sure that he wanted to. In fact, he was rather positive that he didn't.

"We have a few, but they don't handle the same as either of the cars you guys have put me in." Their turn radius, for example, was a lot finer. But Sulu didn't honestly care about the car ride, or about the differences between 21st and 23rd century cars; today, he was really just more concerned with getting to the Hub and laying low. That included figuring out how to cover for his absence, which was definitely going to be a pain. "And I promise, so long as you drive a little less sharply, there'll be no problems with Ianto's upholstery."

He shook his head at Jack's momentary change into official driver mode, glad that the other was actually listening to the two of them holding on to each other in the back seat. Speaking of holding on - Ianto made no move to let go of Sulu's hand, and so Sulu returned the favor by continuing to hold on to him, going so far as to briefly run his thumb over Ianto's knuckles. He couldn't remember the last time something as simple as hand-holding had reduced him to such a butterfly-riddled sap, but he honestly couldn't care less. He figured that he just liked the way their hands fit together - even though his were significantly smaller than usual.

He briefly wondered if Ianto would really be so ready to grab hold of his hand if he weren't a woman, but it felt a little irrational. Even though he was in Lisa's clothing... God, but it was complicated. He put it all out of his mind and just continued to be content with holding Ianto's hand.

It said something about the situation that as soon as Sulu had put on the clothes Ianto had kept after Lisa had died, that they'd ceased to be 'Lisa's clothes' in his mind, and just simply been clothes. Sure, if he thought about it, he would remember why he'd kept them, but. Sulu wasn't Lisa, Lisa was dead, and with all of this flirting with both Jack and now Sulu, maybe... Maybe Ianto was finally moving on from her.

At the finger brushing across his knuckles, though, Ianto flushed, turning to look out the window to try and keep that fact hidden from Sulu, that a simple, innocent touch could have him blushing like a schoolgirl. He, like Sulu, wondered if the situation would be different if Sulu had woken up a man this morning. He certainly would've been a whole lot heavier, lying on top of Ianto, and oh, that was really not a thought process that Ianto wanted to think about at the moment, not holding the other man's hand. He flushed deeper, the blush going down his neck and encompassing some of his chest as well. Bloody Welsh genes...

Jack flicked his eyes back to the back again, noticing the blush and Ianto's head, turned from where it was last. "Everything alright back there?" he asked, with a grin, knowing that something was definitely up, here. It was sweet, really, to be able to watch on as it all developed. He was going to have to keep a closer eye, to see how it developed. "We're almost there. Think you two can handle it for a minute longer?" Sure enough, next light was about to bring them up to the Plass, and the garage to park the car in.

If only Ianto could be just a little more subtle when it came to his blushing. Not that Sulu could hold it against him, or that he wanted to. It was charming - not that he'd use that word aloud - to see that it actually spread so far down his chest, and it made Sulu grin a little goofily as he looked at Jack in the mirror. It was definitely reassuring to know that Jack wasn't someone who just acted like they were fine with open relationships. At least, everything Sulu had seen so far made it seem as though Jack was more entertained by Ianto's blushing than offended or jealous.

"I think we'll survive," he said nonchalantly, not about to let go of Ianto's hand just because Jack was prodding them. "Unless you're going to hop the curb and try testing pedestrian reaction times. That might give one of us a heart attack."

Jack looked back at Sulu grinning goofily at him in the rear view mirror, the effect much the same even though it was a woman grinning back at him, and at Ianto, who was obviously ignoring the fact that there was any reason to be ignoring any sort of fact in the first place, and smiled. A different kind of smile than usual. Because in that moment, the two of them, with whatever this was, it was so new, they were so young, and Jack suddenly felt a lot closer to his age than normal. It...had been a very long time since he'd been as innocent as either of them. Not to say that they were fresh spring daisies--Jack knew what sorts of things Ianto was capable of, when you got him to strip the suits and the decor--but. God, they were just so young.

"I'll try to keep my road rage against the Welsh public as a whole to a minimum. We haven't got any doctors on staff, as it is, should I frighten either of you too badly," Jack said, joking around. "Couldn't have you feinting on us either, my lady. It's been a while since I've had to use the smelling salts. I'm not sure that I even know where they are, anymore, if I even have any lying around."

Jack did one more swerve across traffic, accelerating more than he should have to make it through to the garage ahead of a car that normal people would have just waited to cross after. He stopped the car outside the door. "Shit," he said. No wriststrap. Someone'd have to do it the manual way, and since Ianto would obviously not be paraded around in the center of town, where people might actually recognize him, that responsibility fell on him. "I'll be right back," Jack said, shifting into park and clambering out, going up to the door itself. Never mind that it was what every other Torchwood agent had to do, Jack was supposed to be able to get in without it. Damned virus. He was going to be really happy once he got his wriststrap back, that was for sure.

Edited 2010-07-29 06:24 (UTC)

Sulu made a face, mostly for show, and laughed. "Wouldn't be any worse than if I fainted on bridge. Then it'd be a hypo, and I'm not really big on McCoy jabbing me in the neck with one of those things." Not that he couldn't take it like a man (figuratively speaking) when he needed to. Still, it was nice of Jack to actually tone down his driving, and he'd have to actually thank him when they finally got parked and out of the damned car.

When Jack slid out of the car to go manually open the garage, Sulu turned to Ianto and smiled at him. "Sorry about goading Jack on at first. I didn't mean to make it harder for you or anything." He felt a little silly for having done it; after all, he knew that Ianto wasn't fond of insane car-rides, and he should have figured Jack's driving went above and beyond the realm of comfort.

Ianto shrugged. Alright, yes, so Jack's driving had put him a little on edge about the whole thing, and Sulu's goading him on had made Jack a little more reckless than he usually was when Ianto was in the car. But...it hadn't been that bad. Sulu'd noticed that he'd gotten a little paler and tenser than normal, after all, and had done what he could to help. It was more than Jack did, a lot of the time. "That's alright. I understand. Everyone needs their little bit of adventure every now and again. I just...I wish that these sorts of things didn't effect me as much as they did, yeah? I mean. It's just a car ride. I. I should be better about it all. It has been over a year, since then."

He really was glad for Sulu noticing things, though. Ianto thought about mentioning it, and then decided that he really had nothing to lose, after all. "I... Thank you for noticing that all, there, though. Jack, he... He gets carried away with these things, and well. Sometimes he forgets. I'm not even sure that he remembers at this moment why I'd be so nervous about his driving. So. Yeah." Ianto squeezed Sulu's hand, which he still had a hold of--and why not? They were attached at the wrist anyway, they were already practically there as it was. Ianto smiled a little, shaking his head, amused and a little embarrassed about it all. "Even when you're a woman, you're still looking out for me."

It could have been a year or ten years, as far as Sulu was concerned; no matter how long it had been, Sulu wouldn't want to make him suffer for it. Some things just stuck with you a lot longer than other things, and it happened that Ianto's car accident was one of those things. It felt strange to think that; even he had a limit to his patience, and he knew plenty of times where he'd gotten exasperated over someone's irrational fears or anxieties, and plenty of times where he had to shove his own fears aside in order to get the job done. But for some reason, when it came to Ianto, he just couldn't imagine ever feeling exasperated or annoyed about it.

More than that, like Ianto had said - he'd noticed the subtle changes in Ianto's expression and posture, even though they had been fairly subtle. Sulu was by no means an unperceptive guy, but it wasn't as though he often paid attention to the expressions of people around him when he was being entertained by something. And Jack's driving definitely took up most of his attention - and yet, he'd managed to catch on to Ianto's discomfort. Even stranger, he'd been able to place it quicker than he normally would have.

He wasn't sure what it meant, if it meant anything. Maybe he just spent so much of his effort on checking on Ianto, seeing how he felt (and, more importantly, caring about how he felt), that it was finally starting to pay off. It was a little eerie, actually - or just bizarre. Unusual was probably the right word.

He knew he'd been quiet a little longer than he should have been, and he'd been sort of staring at Ianto, so he blinked and looked down at their hands, shaking his head. "Hey, just because I look like a woman, doesn't mean I am. Other than a slight change in my hormones, I'm exactly the same as normal." Maybe that hormonal imbalance was why his stomach was filled with butterflies while their hands were tangled together. Part of him hoped that was the case, because then he could actually look Ianto in the eye after all this was over without feeling anxious and breathless - the other part of him actually liked it, and hoped it kept up.

Ianto noticed the pause in response, the way that Sulu seemed to be looking at him as he paused, and he wondered what the other was thinking about. Was it him? Ianto fought himself not to blush at that thought. Just because he was feeling like a teenager all over again with this didn't necessarily mean that Sulu did too. Still, Ianto wondered...

He wondered if he occupied Sulu's thoughts as much as Sulu seemed to occupy his. Because there were days, recently, before this virus and all, but after the jeans, after the conversation that he'd had with the other man later about the thing with the jeans and what had started then, when Ianto found his thoughts traveling to the other man. Wondering what he was doing. Whether it was interesting or not. Whether he was piloting the Enterprise, having fun with his crewmates. Wondering if he was asleep or not. Wondering...wondering if Sulu wondered about him like this, sometimes.

There were times when Ianto was outside, and he'd see a plane go by, and think of Sulu and wonder how he was, where he was, and well. Ianto knew that that was silly, because logically, Sulu wasn't in that plane, he was in a ship god knows how far from the earth in, well, a whole other universe, which was just so bloody far away. He just couldn't help himself, though, couldn't help the feeling deep in his stomach that god, this better work out, it had to work out, whatever it was. Because. Even though he didn't know what to expect out of this, what it even was, what he wanted out of it, he did know that even though he was here in Cardiff and Sulu was god knows where however many million miles away in a whole other universe, he still occupied his thoughts, and that had to mean something, didn't it?

"Yeah, I know," Ianto said. "It's still weird, though. That you're not yourself. Not bad, because." Alright, this time Ianto blushed. "I mean, girl version you...definitely isn't bad, but. You--well, that is, the real you--you're...nice too."

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