parked | Log with Ianto & Jack: Man! I Feel Like a Woman!

"Yeah," Sulu sighed, dropping his forehead to rest on the edge of Ianto's mattress, "I know. No one ever guesses." Jim hadn't, and if Sylar hadn't told him, he probably wouldn't have ever known. Ah, well.

...Shit. Did his communicator come with him? "Oh, no." Abandoning the fact that he was in nothing but a sheet (it wasn't that big a deal, really, not to him - he didn't have the modesty that women did) and that Ianto was in his underwear, Sulu climbed over him and started rooting around the bed, admittedly a little frantically. "If my comm didn't come with me, I swear to God, I will murder someone. Jack, move." Because if it hadn't come with him, he could - no, he would be in a metric ton of trouble. "And -" He paused, grabbing Jack's arm to check the hemline, "Oh, God, if you're in Jim's clothes..."

Jack watched Sulu check the hemline, tilting his head to the side. "You mean that this is a captain's uniform?" He laughed. "Well, at least the community's still got something right. I'm definitely the captain of this ship. Over here, anyway. Wonder why I'm stuck in this uniform, though, while you're a woman. I mean, not that I mind the woman bit, but. Obviously, you didn't end up in either of our clothes, for one." He looked over at Ianto.

Ianto didn't know whether to be flushed a deep crimson, or go absolutely white, and therefore sincerely hoped that he wasn't turning up a patchy combination of the two. If people could even do that, he didn't really know. Because, well. He was in his boxers, and Sulu had been on top of him and he really didn't feel very well at all. He wasn't sure whether he should move, or what should happen there. He looked at Jack, who was looking at him, looking almost concerned, through his amusement.

"Hey," Jack said, "you alright, there, Ianto?" Ianto couldn't nod and lie that yes, he was fine, but he couldn't say that he was necessarily hating the situation either, because well...attractive woman Sulu on top of him. He just kind of gaped at the two of them. When he did find his voice, all he could say was, "I think...I might be lying on it. The comm, that is."

"Captain, yeah - once I'm done freaking out, I can probably find out what ship, too, but I need my comm."

Sulu continued looking for a moment after Ianto spoke, because he was in a sort of panic mode without his comm, but when Ianto's words - and tone - hit him, he finally leaned back and did his best to crawl off of Ianto without causing further embarrassment. "I - good." He breathed a sigh of relief, pushing Ianto's shoulder a bit in a silent request for him to move. "...And are you okay? I didn't kick you or anything, did I?"

"N-no, you didn't," Ianto said. "And... I'm fine. I just. Waking up. And. Stuff." Lord, but his sentences were regressing to just being one or two words, he was that out of it. He didn't get that Sulu pushing him meant for him to move, though. He was kind of preoccupied freaking out. "I mean. Sure. You're...you're a woman. And you're...handcuffed to me. Jack's got a uniform on, while I...I'm only in my boxers. Everything's...everything's great."

Luckily for Sulu, Jack was starting to get on top of things, and realizing that he wasn't feeling so great either, and that Ianto was looking kind of peaky, and the only other time he'd felt like this had been when he'd been tied to Mitsuru, so. Jack sat up, and reached for Ianto. "C'mon, kid, let's get you up," he said, grabbing Ianto's shoulders to help him sit up and roll off of Sulu's comm. As soon as Jack touched him, Ianto felt immediately less sick.

"Any better?" Jack asked. Ianto nodded. Jack took his hand away. "And now?" he asked. Ianto groaned, moving to lean his head onto Jack's shoulder and slowly realize himself what was going on with the whole sick feeling and the fact that they were just as stuck together as he and Sulu were, just not as visibly so. "And better again?" Ianto nodded, and managed to find his voice enough to say, "Yeah. But...I still don't have a shirt on."

"Well," Jack said, with a smile because they'd figured it out and Ianto really was adorable before he'd woken up properly, before turning to Sulu. "I think we're all three of us going to be stuck together for the time being." He shrugged, not really minding. "So, is that your comm, are we going to have to do some more digging to find it?" he asked, with a smile that showed he wasn't too bothered about digging around in the bed with either of them.

Sulu was visibly relieved when Ianto moved to reveal his comm, even if it yanked his arm a bit, because - well, because it meant that he could at least cover for himself, should he be needed. It'd be hard to do without anyone knowing that he was... well, him, but at least it was a step up from the usual. "Yeah, that's it." Picking up his communicator and checking to see that there were no more messages, he finally slumped against the headboard with a vaguely frustrated sigh.

"What's wrong between you two?" he asked, lifting a hand as though he were going to run it through his hair - but, well, it was attached to Ianto. Okay then. He sighed again and switched hands, tugging a bit on his hair. "Man, the least it could have done is land me in that stupid women's uniform again. This happened last time, too," he groused, "I'm sleeping in a full outfit from now on."

"This has happened before?" Jack asked, grinning at him. "Not only this, but the whole waking up in well, basically nothing thing?" He shook his head, laughing. "Wake up in anyone else's bed then, too, or is this your first time for that, at least?"

Ianto had enough presence of mind to smack Jack across the chest with his free hand and then just sort of keeping it there, to not break the touch as he picked his head up off of Jack's shoulder to turn to look at Sulu, sighing. "It...it's another virus," he said, his voice sounding more embarrassed than it really should be, considering. "We're basically going to feel sick unless we aren't touching. It happened before, that's how we know how to deal with it. Well," he said, pausing, "not between the two of us, we were stuck to different people, but the idea behind it is the same. So."

He sighed again. "We're basically going to need to stay touching, unless we want to start to feel horrible. And...we really can't leave the room from each other. Which means," he said, looking apologetically at Sulu and raising his hand with the handcuffs up, "that you're stuck to both of us, I'm afraid. Though I second your sentiments. I really don't think I'm sleeping in just boxers ever again, thanks to this community," he said, blushing.

"No," Sulu said in a slightly defeated, where-has-my-life-gone sort of tone, "Dr. McCoy and Jim put me to bed before I went wandering anywhere I shouldn't've wandered. Waking up like this was just... an added bonus." Thanks, DDD. "The community changes your gender, it doesn't... you know, care about anything else. And that virus... well, it doesn't sound that bad," he offered. After all, "At least you're not confined to just one place, like with these." He lifted their handcuffed hands with a half-smile.

Well, at least they were all friends, right? It was better than him getting caught with Sylar, or something. He frowned momentarily, then said, "That... still doesn't explain the uniform, though."

"Well," Ianto said, his brain finally waking up and functioning some as he kept his hand on Jack (which was odd, considering usually proximity to Jack didn't usually mean clear-headedness), "it means that we've ended up with some sort of mix of viruses. Because, well. This touching virus, we've seen before. And well, the handcuffs have to be a virus as well, because..." Ianto blushed. "Yeah. So. The uniform must be some sort of virus as well."

"Pretty weird way to virus someone, though," Jack said, with a shrug. "I mean, other than wearing this uniform, there doesn't seem to be anything else. I mean, why would it stick me in one anyway. Unless..." Jack cocked his head. "Didn't you say that you thought that it had to be someone else's uniform? Would that mean that someone else is walking around in whatever I was wearing when I went to sleep?" he asked, with a smirk. "Because, y'know, I don't tend to wear much of anything, so. There must be one seriously naked Starfleet captain out there wondering where his uniform went. Better hope he has another one. I'm sure that'd be a pretty awkward call to any of his subordinates, y'know?"

Sulu nodded, smiling at Ianto in slight amusement. Yes, he was a woman, and yes, he was... naked pretty much, but still. "Not big on the keyless handcuffs, huh? But... here." He moved more carefully around Ianto this time, leaning over to look at the patch on Jack's uniform. Well, actually, "Y-eah, I really don't envy the Defiant right now. Their captain is either naked or, well... Maybe not. It could very well be just a uniform from the captain's closet. We sort of run through uniforms in Starfleet."

He sort of wished he had a uniform right now, though, as he sat back on his knees, using his free hand to hold his sheet-dress up. "...I don't want to rain on anyone's parade, here, but..." He gestured to said sheet, "I might... need to wear something, sometime soon."

"No," Ianto said, with a blush, ducking his head. "I...really can't say that I am." Not that he and Jack hadn't experimented with other sorts of restraints, but this was neither the time nor the place to mention any of that.

"The Defiant, eh?" Jack asked, with a smirk. That had definitely been some flirting, there. "Impressive that you can recognize things like that. Interesting that the uniforms are also marked for which ship you're on, though. I mean, well. We didn't really have uniforms out of the Agency School, but. We certainly didn't have anything like that, in any of the wars or such that I've been in. Lucky for me, too. I've been assigned to some pretty unfortunately named ships, over the years."

At the mention of clothes, though, Ianto stiffened a little bit, as an idea came to him. "If...if you'd like, you could have something of mine, but. I...I have some of Lisa's stuff around in storage. It might be a little big on you, but. I'm sure there must be something in there that would fit, but. It's really up to you. I...I don't know how long it is that we're going to be stuck like this, so. Maybe...maybe it's better if we went to find something in there, yeah? I mean, I'm taller than you normally, so. I bet that anything I give you of mine would probably look ridiculous, anyway."

Jack had mixed emotions about Lisa. He hadn't ever known her before she was the Cyberwoman trying to kill his team, including Ianto himself, so. His opinion of her was a little skewed. But it was obvious that Ianto had loved her, so. He didn't know how much Sulu knew about Lisa, but he hoped that regardless, Sulu would understand that Ianto offering off Lisa's clothes obviously meant that they were pretty close friends, considering what he'd kept of hers was obviously special to him and hard to get rid of like he did the rest. Jack put a hand on Ianto's back, subtly rubbing gently.

"It's easy for me to memorize insignias. Comes in pretty handy, if you ask me. It's a Starfleet thing, since each ship has a different function." Sulu shrugged; it was just one of those things for him, where he memorized things he didn't really need to memorize.

He paused at the offer - he didn't know anything about Lisa, not really, but he'd heard Ianto mention her name a few times, always with a melancholy nostalgic air. He... Well, he couldn't really wear anything that Ianto wore, not really, because he couldn't pull things on over one arm, but - "I - don't want to make you go digging through your storage," Sulu said, in a tone that indicated that it wasn't just for convenience's sake. He didn't want to bring up bad memories, not for Ianto or for Jack, who obviously knew much more than Sulu did about this whole thing. "In all honesty, I probably could deal with a towel. It's not like it... really matters, you know?" Clothes would be much easier for him to deal with, but... well. A towel wasn't that personal.

Ianto shook his head. "No, really, it's okay," he said. "I'm certainly not using them for anything at the moment, so. It'd be actually putting them to use, for the first time in a while. And well, I can't have you walking around in just a towel or the sheets," he said, with a blush. "Really, it's no inconvenience at all. All we have to do is send Jack up into the crawl-space for the box, anyway. It's not like I have a lot of things in storage up there, it's pretty much just that box. That'd be fine with you, wouldn't it, Jack?" Ianto asked, turning to Jack for support there.

Although it was tempting to side with Sulu and say that it really didn't matter, that he wouldn't mind the other--well, actually, Sulu was a woman, at the moment, then, wasn't he?--he wouldn't mind Sulu walking around in just a sheet and boxers for the whole day, not when he was looking like this, but. He knew better, especially when Ianto was offering up Lisa's clothes for him. "I wouldn't have a problem with it, either way," he said, instead. "I mean, we might have to get out of the flat, anyway. Who knows whether the Hub's set up to..." Jack trailed off, looking down at his wrist. "Fuck," he said, "the bastard has my wriststrap!"

Sulu bit his lip, then nodded. "Yeah, okay then - oh." Someone from his universe having Jack's wriststrap was, well... not good. He didn't know who the captain of the Defiant was, but he hoped they wouldn't, well, push any buttons or mess with anything, because that would end with a serious problem for both Starfleet and the man wearing Jack's technology.

His poker face as a woman was decidedly a little better than it was normally, so when he offered Jack a half-smile, it looked earnest. "Don't worry about it. I'm sure the captain won't do anything with it." That wasn't really helpful, but there wasn't exactly much Sulu could offer to do, here.

Jack's jovial mood about Sulu being naked and the whole situation in general took a terrific nose dive. "Alright, well. We are going to get you clothes, because without that wriststrap, I have no contact with the main computer systems in the Hub, should something happen, so we're going to have to make the trip there, hopefully as quick as we can. And, y'know. Stay there. Until the community decides that it's had its fun and gives me back what's mine. So help me god, you'd better be right about it being okay, and that they won't take it apart for science, or anything like that. I want it working the same way it did yesterday when it came back, or I am tracking down this captain and showing him what it's like when people come and just up and mess with his things."

Ianto raised an eyebrow at Jack, trying to be a calming presence, there. "Alright, alright. We'll go to the Hub. C'mon, then," he said, motioning for Jack to get up and for Sulu to do the same, so he didn't have to climb over either of them to get out of the bed. "The crawl space is above the closet, all you have to do is pop up there. Like I said, that box is the only thing up there, so it's not like it'll be too hard to find." He let go of Jack, knowing that they'd be fine for a few moments not touching, as Jack pulled the door in the ceiling open and pulled out the footstool Ianto had waiting there specifically for that purpose.

Not even a minute later, Jack'd pulled down the box and put it on the foot of Ianto's bed. Ianto moved to put a hand on Jack's shoulder, both for the touch, and also for the thanks. "Alright, well," he said, before moving to go through the box, before pausing. "Oh. I...well. This won't be a problem for you, but. Damn it all." He turned to Sulu, raising the hand that was cuffed to Sulu's. "We're...not going to be able to manage sleeves, with these things on."

Sulu barely resisted rolling his eyes at Jack's outburst. Really, he was going to have to stop switching between upbeat and angry if Sulu was to ever have a hope of being able to be on good terms with the man. "Don't say things like that. I'm still a Starfleet officer, and if you start causing problems in my universe, I'm obliged to deal with it." He followed along, making sure to not get tangled with Ianto while they were getting out of the bed.

When Ianto motioned to their handcuffed hands, Sulu frowned. "...Yeah, that's going to be a problem." If Sulu was being honest with himself, it really was definitely not a problem, because Ianto definitely didn't look bad shirtless and, well, in his boxers - but. But. For going out in public, it probably would be awkward.

"Well," Ianto said, suddenly remembering a shirt that he'd kept of Lisa's and turning back to go through the box one-handed, "maybe it won't be a problem for you...if I can just find..." It'd been one of his favorites, a strapless tank-top that she'd worn out a few times, including one of their first dates. Like hell he was going to say that out loud, neither Sulu nor Jack would really react to that well. It had a shelf bra and everything and lord knows why Ianto knew all of these terms, but. Should Sulu not be all that comfortable with Lisa's lingerie, there would at least be that.

"Aha!" he said, pulling it out of the box, and holding it up to Sulu. "Here you are. You should be able to step into it and get it on that way. As for the bottoms," Ianto said, coloring. "Obviously you'll need some pants, but. Other than that...I'm guessing you'd prefer trousers, but. I'm not sure that Lisa's would fit you, so. You might be better off with one of her skirts, if... If that's okay with you..."

Jack smirked at the two of them. "Are you sure you're not just saying things like that because you want to get the pretty lady to show off her nice legs, Ianto?" Jack asked, joking around for the moment, because his options were either joke or fume, and Sulu didn't seem to be too keen on him fuming at the unidentified Starfleet captain that was now in possession of his prized wriststrap. Ianto turned and gave Jack a look that clearly stated that the comment was not appreciated. Even if the thought was now planted in his mind, and wasn't coming out any time soon.

Sulu smiled at Ianto and took the shirt from Ianto. At least he knew that he'd look... well, pretty damned good in the shirt. "Thanks. And honestly, I'm used to it. I wish I didn't have to say that, but women's uniforms in Starfleet are skirts, so..."

And though Ianto looked very unamused at Jack's comment, Sulu couldn't help but grin at the man, raising an eyebrow. "I'm no lady, captain. But," he ducked his head to check out his own legs, "They are pretty spectacular, I'd say. I make a pretty kickass woman, all things considered."

Ianto blushed harder as Sulu verbally agreed with Jack on that, turning back to the box to look for a skirt for Sulu, and finding one a few moments later. It had been kind of tight on Lisa, but then again, she had been a pretty curvy woman, so. It'd probably fit Sulu differently. Still, it went with the top, and it'd probably fit without too much trouble. Oh, right. He reached in and found the first pair of pants that his hand met, and added those to the mix, trying very hard not to notice which pair they were. "Here," he said, holding the clothing items out to Sulu. "Because, well. Boxers aren't really going to work underneath this skirt, and all." God, but he had been a woman before too, why was he blushing so much at all of this?

Jack grinned. Ianto was being charmingly polite about the whole situation, and it was beyond amusingly adorable for him. "Kickass woman in some pretty kickass clothes, if you don't mind me saying. Now." He smiled, raising an eyebrow, and grinning widely at Sulu. "How are you going to make us turn around for you to get dressed if you're tied to Ianto? Because it's pretty hard to get dressed one-handed, that's all I'm saying." Ianto's back stiffened, and he had to take a pause to breathe and not yell at Jack, doing some counting of his own. He was pretty sure that Jack was doing all of this on purpose now, damn him.

Sulu took the clothes from Ianto with another smile, even more endeared than usual at his blushing politeness. "Thanks, Ianto." He figured it'd look good enough - and oh. Right. He sort of did have a problem with this whole dressing issue. Then again, he figured he could probably do it - he was a Starfleet officer, damn it. He could do all sorts of things - dressing with one hand probably wasn't going to be that big a deal.

"In all honesty? I don't really have too much of a problem, here. You're both adult enough to turn around and give me some privacy, right? You especially," he said, giving Jack a look. Sulu had come to terms with this womanly state of his, especially now that he knew he had his comm and that, well, he wasn't going to have to worry about his job or his crew finding out about this. Not only that, but it was easier to be more calm about this the second time around. "You're the one bringing all this stuff up, one after another."

Jack held his hands up in front of him for the second time that day. "Okay, okay, I can take a hint. Guess I should lay off of the complimenting your womanly physique for a little while, at least. Although well. It's not like you seem to care. It's Ianto here that seems to be taking the offense for everything, though I'm just going to say that all I'm doing is stating the obvious, here. But if you insist..." Jack turned in place, moving to grin at the opposite wall from where Sulu was standing. "Does this work for you?" he asked. "I promise, there aren't even any mirrors in this direction for me to spy with. Scout's honor, as you like to say."

Ianto, on the other hand, was a bit nervous for this, because for one, getting clothes on one-handed was a challenge. He knew from when he'd dislocated his shoulder and he'd been ordered by doctors to keep it in a sling for a few days, that it ached too much to move around enough to use it to get dressed. He was actually worried that Sulu just might have to use his other hand, and then Ianto's hand would be that much closer to touching and things could just go so horribly wrong, there, and. Jack reached out a hand and put it on Ianto's shoulder, and he jumped, snapping back into his thoughts. "Yes," Ianto said, knowing that it would probably be a long time before this blush left his face, "right. We'll...we'll give you as much privacy as we can, and you can just. Change. I'll...I'll obviously need to stick close by, but."

"Relax, Ianto," Jack said, physically turning Ianto around, "we both know that you won't be anything less than a gentleman about it. Now. Give the lady her space," he said, winking at Ianto before turning back to look at the opposite wall with Ianto. "Alright, then, Lieutenant, work your magic!"

Sulu would have put a hand on Ianto's shoulder to reassure him, but he was kind of... well, tied up. So, he just smiled at the other before Jack turned him around, saying, "Really, don't worry about it. It's not like this is really my body or anything." Though, he felt just as physically comfortable in it as he did in his real body, so maybe it was? Who knew. Either way, though, he wasn't too concerned with Ianto's hand getting close to him. He'd basically been straddling Ianto when they woke up, after all.

Taking off the sheet was easy, though he really wasn't too big on this whole woman's body thing, and his boxers were practically hanging off his hips anyway, so they came off easily too. He dropped the clothes on the bed, managing with the underwear pretty well, all things considered. He had to take a minute to arrange it properly, making sure it wasn't twisted, but hey. At least it fit.

The shirt was going to be a little more difficult, but at least he was aware that he needed to pull that on before the skirt. He stepped into it, crouching down a bit to try and pull it on. ...Okay, so that wasn't working so well. "Ianto, I need my hand." He'd been doing all right so far, only jerking their hands around a little bit, but now he really did need to use it and, well. "Don't worry, it'll only take a second." He was absolutely aware of how close Ianto's hand came to his skin, despite his previous statements about it being no big deal - it was Ianto, after all. It felt strange to be so tense about Ianto's presence, and even stranger to have the butterflies in his stomach start up because of it, but he just chewed his lip and shimmying into the shirt as quickly as possible.

The skirt, thankfully, was easier, though clasps and zippers were a pain with one hand - luckily, he knew how to do that. "Okay. There, see, that wasn't so bad, was it?"

Ianto, much like Sulu, was hyper aware of where his hand was in relation to the other, and tried very hard not to follow the movements of his wrist as Sulu needed to use his hand for those few moments with the shirt. He tried very hard not to imagine what was being done as he listened to the sounds of the fabric, the room strangely quiet, considering that Jack was still there, and he was normally such a loud presence. He let out a sigh of relief when Sulu stated that he was done, though, and he turned back to look, since it would be awkward to do otherwise. And wow.

Jack turned as well, and whistled low. "Gotta say, Lieutenant, the strapless, sleeveless look really works for you like this. Ianto here sure knows how to pick clothes out for someone, let me tell you that. I'm glad you can't do sleeves. It'd be a shame to have to cover that up."

Ianto rolled his eyes and blushed at the backwards compliment that Jack had given him, when he realized something with a groan. "Oh, god. I'm... I'm not going to be able to wear a shirt while this virus is still on, am I?" He pulled his hands in an automatic gesture to run them over his face, but his one wrist caught, still attached to Sulu's, so he stopped mid-motion, groaning. Ianto had hesitations about stepping out of the house in a t-shirt, some times, let alone absolutely nothing at all. "Brilliant. Just...absolutely brilliant..."

"Oh, relax," Jack said, rubbing Ianto's shoulder in support, a grin across his face that really saw no chance of leaving anytime soon, "you look good like this. Maybe not your usual style, but. I'm certainly not complaining," he said, with a wink, though who it was directed at, Sulu or Ianto, it wasn't really apparent. "Bring a sheet or something, if you're really feeling that uncomfortable with it."

Sulu smoothed the skirt down a bit, frowning. "It'd be better if I didn't have to wear any of it. I hate skirts," he grumbled, reaching up with his free hand to try and brush his hair with his fingers. He was stopped when his other hand jerked, Ianto's plight coming to his attention.

Well, he was sort of on Jack's side, here. He wasn't seeing anything for Ianto to complain about - though, at the same time, he could understand why he'd be hesitant to go outside shirtless. It wasn't really normal for Cardiff, from what he'd seen, after all. "He's right," Sulu said without really thinking, "Don't worry about it. Nobody's going to care, not really. You'll be fine, anyway." He smiled, "I'm pretty sure it's acceptable for a man to be shirtless in public. You're not that far back in the timeline."

"I didn't much like skirts either, when I was a woman," Ianto said, agreeing with Sulu. "Or heels. 'Course, I was stuck in the body of someone else, and she apparently liked to wear heels all the time, so wearing flats felt odd, but. God." He sighed. "Alright. Fine. I'll...I'll just wear a sheet outside. Because I am not," he said, giving both of them separate looks, "going out shirtless. I don't care if it's acceptable, or even normal for a man to go out in the day without one, you won't ever convince me to do it. Not unless we're...at the beach, or something. Which is not going to happen anytime soon, not with our work schedule, so you can stop thinking anything along those lines right there."

Jack shrugged, smiling at Ianto, but knowing not to push the other man, not when he was as embarrassed as he was, but submitting to the fact that he had no other choice here. "Alright, fine. But honestly, Ianto, when we get to the Hub, carrying that sheet around is just going to be in the way. You're going to have to get used to it. I'll. I'll call Gwen and explain things to her, give her the day again. Alright? It'll just be me and Sulu, yeah, nothing to be worried about."

Actually, yes, there was. Because Sulu was half the reason that Ianto was embarrassed to be shirtless in the first place, but Ianto nodded at him, blushing. He wasn't going to get anywhere soon if he kept being difficult about it, after all. "Yeah, alright..."

Sulu shrugged. "It's up to you, either way." Though, he was a little surprised Ianto was so against it - really, there wasn't any reason for him to be shy. If Sulu was being honest with himself, there was definitely no reason for Ianto to be at all insecure. The man was plenty attractive, dressed in jeans, suits or... well, boxers. Sulu momentarily entertained the thought that he probably wouldn't mind if Ianto just stuck to underwear for the duration of the virus, before putting the idea out of his mind. Ianto was obviously not very comfortable like this, not right now, so he wasn't going to try anything.

"At least it's easier for you guys now, though, huh?" he asked, "I mean, now that Gwen knows about the community. You don't have to try and explain an Asian woman handcuffed to your wrist, or anything."

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