Log with Ianto & Jack: Man! I Feel Like a Woman!
There were three things Sulu always expected when he woke up: some kind of alarm, his regulation sized bed and his regulation sheets. In his line of work, those were the only safe assumptions; for all anyone knew, they could be waking up to their timer alarms or the red alert alarms, or they could wake up on the floor after an attack - but they would always wake up near it.
Being that he was not really a morning person, it took Sulu a groggy minute of groaning and half-hearted stretching to realize that his three safety blankets? They weren't there. Instead, his bed felt - bigger, really, and... manlier. Really manly. Which felt weirder than the softer sheets, the metal bracelet around his wrist and the fact that he had hair in his eyes.
...Hair in his eyes.
Oh, Jesus. He knew what that meant -
Sulu snapped to attention and sat up, only to realize that he was now straddling someone, he was a girl, and he was in his boxers. And that was it. Part of him realized he was on top of Ianto, but the rest of him then followed suit and noticed that his free hand was on Jack's chest, and this was way out of his comfort zone.
Being that he was terrible at this whole "suddenly a girl thing," Sulu could only do one thing in that moment: he shrieked and tried to fling himself off the bed, despite the fact that he was handcuffed to Ianto. "SHIT!"
Being that he was not really a morning person, it took Sulu a groggy minute of groaning and half-hearted stretching to realize that his three safety blankets? They weren't there. Instead, his bed felt - bigger, really, and... manlier. Really manly. Which felt weirder than the softer sheets, the metal bracelet around his wrist and the fact that he had hair in his eyes.
...Hair in his eyes.
Oh, Jesus. He knew what that meant -
Sulu snapped to attention and sat up, only to realize that he was now straddling someone, he was a girl, and he was in his boxers. And that was it. Part of him realized he was on top of Ianto, but the rest of him then followed suit and noticed that his free hand was on Jack's chest, and this was way out of his comfort zone.
Being that he was terrible at this whole "suddenly a girl thing," Sulu could only do one thing in that moment: he shrieked and tried to fling himself off the bed, despite the fact that he was handcuffed to Ianto. "SHIT!"
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"Pretty weird way to virus someone, though," Jack said, with a shrug. "I mean, other than wearing this uniform, there doesn't seem to be anything else. I mean, why would it stick me in one anyway. Unless..." Jack cocked his head. "Didn't you say that you thought that it had to be someone else's uniform? Would that mean that someone else is walking around in whatever I was wearing when I went to sleep?" he asked, with a smirk. "Because, y'know, I don't tend to wear much of anything, so. There must be one seriously naked Starfleet captain out there wondering where his uniform went. Better hope he has another one. I'm sure that'd be a pretty awkward call to any of his subordinates, y'know?"
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He sort of wished he had a uniform right now, though, as he sat back on his knees, using his free hand to hold his sheet-dress up. "...I don't want to rain on anyone's parade, here, but..." He gestured to said sheet, "I might... need to wear something, sometime soon."
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"The Defiant, eh?" Jack asked, with a smirk. That had definitely been some flirting, there. "Impressive that you can recognize things like that. Interesting that the uniforms are also marked for which ship you're on, though. I mean, well. We didn't really have uniforms out of the Agency School, but. We certainly didn't have anything like that, in any of the wars or such that I've been in. Lucky for me, too. I've been assigned to some pretty unfortunately named ships, over the years."
At the mention of clothes, though, Ianto stiffened a little bit, as an idea came to him. "If...if you'd like, you could have something of mine, but. I...I have some of Lisa's stuff around in storage. It might be a little big on you, but. I'm sure there must be something in there that would fit, but. It's really up to you. I...I don't know how long it is that we're going to be stuck like this, so. Maybe...maybe it's better if we went to find something in there, yeah? I mean, I'm taller than you normally, so. I bet that anything I give you of mine would probably look ridiculous, anyway."
Jack had mixed emotions about Lisa. He hadn't ever known her before she was the Cyberwoman trying to kill his team, including Ianto himself, so. His opinion of her was a little skewed. But it was obvious that Ianto had loved her, so. He didn't know how much Sulu knew about Lisa, but he hoped that regardless, Sulu would understand that Ianto offering off Lisa's clothes obviously meant that they were pretty close friends, considering what he'd kept of hers was obviously special to him and hard to get rid of like he did the rest. Jack put a hand on Ianto's back, subtly rubbing gently.
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He paused at the offer - he didn't know anything about Lisa, not really, but he'd heard Ianto mention her name a few times, always with a melancholy nostalgic air. He... Well, he couldn't really wear anything that Ianto wore, not really, because he couldn't pull things on over one arm, but - "I - don't want to make you go digging through your storage," Sulu said, in a tone that indicated that it wasn't just for convenience's sake. He didn't want to bring up bad memories, not for Ianto or for Jack, who obviously knew much more than Sulu did about this whole thing. "In all honesty, I probably could deal with a towel. It's not like it... really matters, you know?" Clothes would be much easier for him to deal with, but... well. A towel wasn't that personal.
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Although it was tempting to side with Sulu and say that it really didn't matter, that he wouldn't mind the other--well, actually, Sulu was a woman, at the moment, then, wasn't he?--he wouldn't mind Sulu walking around in just a sheet and boxers for the whole day, not when he was looking like this, but. He knew better, especially when Ianto was offering up Lisa's clothes for him. "I wouldn't have a problem with it, either way," he said, instead. "I mean, we might have to get out of the flat, anyway. Who knows whether the Hub's set up to..." Jack trailed off, looking down at his wrist. "Fuck," he said, "the bastard has my wriststrap!"
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His poker face as a woman was decidedly a little better than it was normally, so when he offered Jack a half-smile, it looked earnest. "Don't worry about it. I'm sure the captain won't do anything with it." That wasn't really helpful, but there wasn't exactly much Sulu could offer to do, here.
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Ianto raised an eyebrow at Jack, trying to be a calming presence, there. "Alright, alright. We'll go to the Hub. C'mon, then," he said, motioning for Jack to get up and for Sulu to do the same, so he didn't have to climb over either of them to get out of the bed. "The crawl space is above the closet, all you have to do is pop up there. Like I said, that box is the only thing up there, so it's not like it'll be too hard to find." He let go of Jack, knowing that they'd be fine for a few moments not touching, as Jack pulled the door in the ceiling open and pulled out the footstool Ianto had waiting there specifically for that purpose.
Not even a minute later, Jack'd pulled down the box and put it on the foot of Ianto's bed. Ianto moved to put a hand on Jack's shoulder, both for the touch, and also for the thanks. "Alright, well," he said, before moving to go through the box, before pausing. "Oh. I...well. This won't be a problem for you, but. Damn it all." He turned to Sulu, raising the hand that was cuffed to Sulu's. "We're...not going to be able to manage sleeves, with these things on."
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When Ianto motioned to their handcuffed hands, Sulu frowned. "...Yeah, that's going to be a problem." If Sulu was being honest with himself, it really was definitely not a problem, because Ianto definitely didn't look bad shirtless and, well, in his boxers - but. But. For going out in public, it probably would be awkward.
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"Aha!" he said, pulling it out of the box, and holding it up to Sulu. "Here you are. You should be able to step into it and get it on that way. As for the bottoms," Ianto said, coloring. "Obviously you'll need some pants, but. Other than that...I'm guessing you'd prefer trousers, but. I'm not sure that Lisa's would fit you, so. You might be better off with one of her skirts, if... If that's okay with you..."
Jack smirked at the two of them. "Are you sure you're not just saying things like that because you want to get the pretty lady to show off her nice legs, Ianto?" Jack asked, joking around for the moment, because his options were either joke or fume, and Sulu didn't seem to be too keen on him fuming at the unidentified Starfleet captain that was now in possession of his prized wriststrap. Ianto turned and gave Jack a look that clearly stated that the comment was not appreciated. Even if the thought was now planted in his mind, and wasn't coming out any time soon.
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And though Ianto looked very unamused at Jack's comment, Sulu couldn't help but grin at the man, raising an eyebrow. "I'm no lady, captain. But," he ducked his head to check out his own legs, "They are pretty spectacular, I'd say. I make a pretty kickass woman, all things considered."
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Jack grinned. Ianto was being charmingly polite about the whole situation, and it was beyond amusingly adorable for him. "Kickass woman in some pretty kickass clothes, if you don't mind me saying. Now." He smiled, raising an eyebrow, and grinning widely at Sulu. "How are you going to make us turn around for you to get dressed if you're tied to Ianto? Because it's pretty hard to get dressed one-handed, that's all I'm saying." Ianto's back stiffened, and he had to take a pause to breathe and not yell at Jack, doing some counting of his own. He was pretty sure that Jack was doing all of this on purpose now, damn him.
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"In all honesty? I don't really have too much of a problem, here. You're both adult enough to turn around and give me some privacy, right? You especially," he said, giving Jack a look. Sulu had come to terms with this womanly state of his, especially now that he knew he had his comm and that, well, he wasn't going to have to worry about his job or his crew finding out about this. Not only that, but it was easier to be more calm about this the second time around. "You're the one bringing all this stuff up, one after another."
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Ianto, on the other hand, was a bit nervous for this, because for one, getting clothes on one-handed was a challenge. He knew from when he'd dislocated his shoulder and he'd been ordered by doctors to keep it in a sling for a few days, that it ached too much to move around enough to use it to get dressed. He was actually worried that Sulu just might have to use his other hand, and then Ianto's hand would be that much closer to touching and things could just go so horribly wrong, there, and. Jack reached out a hand and put it on Ianto's shoulder, and he jumped, snapping back into his thoughts. "Yes," Ianto said, knowing that it would probably be a long time before this blush left his face, "right. We'll...we'll give you as much privacy as we can, and you can just. Change. I'll...I'll obviously need to stick close by, but."
"Relax, Ianto," Jack said, physically turning Ianto around, "we both know that you won't be anything less than a gentleman about it. Now. Give the lady her space," he said, winking at Ianto before turning back to look at the opposite wall with Ianto. "Alright, then, Lieutenant, work your magic!"
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Taking off the sheet was easy, though he really wasn't too big on this whole woman's body thing, and his boxers were practically hanging off his hips anyway, so they came off easily too. He dropped the clothes on the bed, managing with the underwear pretty well, all things considered. He had to take a minute to arrange it properly, making sure it wasn't twisted, but hey. At least it fit.
The shirt was going to be a little more difficult, but at least he was aware that he needed to pull that on before the skirt. He stepped into it, crouching down a bit to try and pull it on. ...Okay, so that wasn't working so well. "Ianto, I need my hand." He'd been doing all right so far, only jerking their hands around a little bit, but now he really did need to use it and, well. "Don't worry, it'll only take a second." He was absolutely aware of how close Ianto's hand came to his skin, despite his previous statements about it being no big deal - it was Ianto, after all. It felt strange to be so tense about Ianto's presence, and even stranger to have the butterflies in his stomach start up because of it, but he just chewed his lip and shimmying into the shirt as quickly as possible.
The skirt, thankfully, was easier, though clasps and zippers were a pain with one hand - luckily, he knew how to do that. "Okay. There, see, that wasn't so bad, was it?"
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Jack turned as well, and whistled low. "Gotta say, Lieutenant, the strapless, sleeveless look really works for you like this. Ianto here sure knows how to pick clothes out for someone, let me tell you that. I'm glad you can't do sleeves. It'd be a shame to have to cover that up."
Ianto rolled his eyes and blushed at the backwards compliment that Jack had given him, when he realized something with a groan. "Oh, god. I'm... I'm not going to be able to wear a shirt while this virus is still on, am I?" He pulled his hands in an automatic gesture to run them over his face, but his one wrist caught, still attached to Sulu's, so he stopped mid-motion, groaning. Ianto had hesitations about stepping out of the house in a t-shirt, some times, let alone absolutely nothing at all. "Brilliant. Just...absolutely brilliant..."
"Oh, relax," Jack said, rubbing Ianto's shoulder in support, a grin across his face that really saw no chance of leaving anytime soon, "you look good like this. Maybe not your usual style, but. I'm certainly not complaining," he said, with a wink, though who it was directed at, Sulu or Ianto, it wasn't really apparent. "Bring a sheet or something, if you're really feeling that uncomfortable with it."
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Well, he was sort of on Jack's side, here. He wasn't seeing anything for Ianto to complain about - though, at the same time, he could understand why he'd be hesitant to go outside shirtless. It wasn't really normal for Cardiff, from what he'd seen, after all. "He's right," Sulu said without really thinking, "Don't worry about it. Nobody's going to care, not really. You'll be fine, anyway." He smiled, "I'm pretty sure it's acceptable for a man to be shirtless in public. You're not that far back in the timeline."
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Jack shrugged, smiling at Ianto, but knowing not to push the other man, not when he was as embarrassed as he was, but submitting to the fact that he had no other choice here. "Alright, fine. But honestly, Ianto, when we get to the Hub, carrying that sheet around is just going to be in the way. You're going to have to get used to it. I'll. I'll call Gwen and explain things to her, give her the day again. Alright? It'll just be me and Sulu, yeah, nothing to be worried about."
Actually, yes, there was. Because Sulu was half the reason that Ianto was embarrassed to be shirtless in the first place, but Ianto nodded at him, blushing. He wasn't going to get anywhere soon if he kept being difficult about it, after all. "Yeah, alright..."
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"At least it's easier for you guys now, though, huh?" he asked, "I mean, now that Gwen knows about the community. You don't have to try and explain an Asian woman handcuffed to your wrist, or anything."
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Ianto visibly slumped. He felt bad for asking, but. "Jack," he called out. Jack popped back in the room for a second, the phone flipped open, looking like he was about to make the call. "Can...can you. Not tell Gwen exactly what's going on?" he asked, the look in his eyes pleading. "I. I already have enough to live down with her as it is. I'd...prefer not to add to the list." Jack made a face, indicating he was definitely curious as to what Ianto exactly meant, but didn't ask questions, just popping out of the room instead.
Ianto breathed. "Right. Yes..." He thought for a second. "Clothes. I need clothes. Or well. Trousers at least. I'm...here, this way," he said, leading Sulu to his closet, so that he wasn't just dragging him along. "I... I suppose that suit trousers are a bit strange to wear when you're not going to be wearing a shirt, then," he said, sighing as he looked in at the rest of his clothes, ignoring the fact that he had off-handedly mentioned that conversation that Gwen had read between Sulu and himself, and the fact that the jeans Sulu had picked out for him were there, hanging in the midst of the rest of his jeans.
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The truth of the matter was that he was only sorry because it seemed Ianto was really hung up about it even now, when they had other things to worry about. He didn't know how to best reassure Ianto about it, either, especially not in a woman's body, but he placed his uncuffed hand on Ianto's shoulder, even if that meant he had to step a bit closer to the other to do it.
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"No, it's alright. It's...if it weren't for this, then it would be something else that Gwen found to poke fun at me with. She's... She's almost like my sister in that sense. And well. I... I don't regret it, or anything," he said, blushing and turning back to the closet to try and hide that fact.
"...I rather think that jeans'll work," Ianto said, reaching into the closet to grab a pair of jeans. Not the pair that Sulu'd picked out, but. They were jeans nonetheless. "At least, well. Jeans and a sheet will look a bit better than trousers and a sheet, yeah?"
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"Yeah, I guess. You're the one with the fashion sense, here," he said in response to Ianto's half-rhetorical question, ducking his head a bit. That move only got hair in his eyes, though, so he immediately reached a hand up to brush it away, only realizing it was the hand Ianto was cuffed to until he was doing it, and it would be silly to stop halfway through the action. (Besides. Well... The butterflies were too novel to pass up.)
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"Oh," he said, not moving his hand away, not doing much moving in any direction. "Sorry. I... I mean. I was just. I mean. My hand was there anyway, and... I-I..." Oops.
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"It's - I." He chewed his lip and then smiled, head tilting just slightly into Ianto's hand, "It's okay." And there wasn't really anything else to say to that. Instead of bothering to restate the obvious, he went a more direct route; he turned his cuffed hand and put it over Ianto's, so he wouldn't pull away - so he'd know Sulu was really telling the truth about it being okay.
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"Y-yeah?" he asked, smiling bashfully at the person in front of him. He made no move to move his hand from underneath Sulu's, even though he was basically cupping his cheek. God, he really wasn't used to being this much taller than him. He knew that there was only a little bit of time before Jack would be back, and yet. "It's... This. This isn't too weird for you, right?" he asked, softly. "I mean, with all things considered?"
He moved his thumb a little bit, tracing the side of Sulu's now really quite delicate cheekbone in a surge of what, self confidence? "You... You'd tell me the truth, if it were, wouldn't you? I mean. We're stuck to each other for the next god knows how many days. I... I don't want things to be any weirder than they have to be, yeah?"
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