Log with Jack: Follow You Into the Dark
Oct. 29th, 2010 12:12 pm![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
parkedSulu hadn't known what else to do. The day had gone in a blur with him sitting aside, watching absolutely nothing happen and Sulu didn't know what to do. He'd slept, a lot. He couldn't remember more than an hour or so where he wasn't asleep. He'd felt a hollow space grow under his ribs, triple its size in hours and leave him sitting on the edge of his bed, just. Sitting there, feet on the carpet, hands against his temples, his eyes physically incapable of looking anywhere but at his feet. He didn't want to look anywhere else. He didn't want to do anything.
And then Jack had called and through the blur of things going on while he stopped, Sulu had instinctively reached out. He was sure that if he was left alone things would just get worse. He'd never had to deal with this kind of feeling before. People died around him all the time but there was never... This. He felt like one wrong move and he'd go flying off into some dark, ugly patch of space. It was like teetering on the edge of the drill all over again, but a hundred times worse because there was no Kirk to save him from the ground.
So he'd asked the other to come to him. He didn't even know if there was any point to it, if Jack coming and seeing him would fix any of it, and some small part of him, already in deep space, wanted bitterly to make Jack uncomfortable, because this was all his fault, but he knew Ianto would hate him for that and so he shoved it aside. He didn't even know if he'd be able to look at Jack, but. He knew he needed something. Anything.
And then Jack had called and through the blur of things going on while he stopped, Sulu had instinctively reached out. He was sure that if he was left alone things would just get worse. He'd never had to deal with this kind of feeling before. People died around him all the time but there was never... This. He felt like one wrong move and he'd go flying off into some dark, ugly patch of space. It was like teetering on the edge of the drill all over again, but a hundred times worse because there was no Kirk to save him from the ground.
So he'd asked the other to come to him. He didn't even know if there was any point to it, if Jack coming and seeing him would fix any of it, and some small part of him, already in deep space, wanted bitterly to make Jack uncomfortable, because this was all his fault, but he knew Ianto would hate him for that and so he shoved it aside. He didn't even know if he'd be able to look at Jack, but. He knew he needed something. Anything.
